Crashing My Excitement

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I didn’t take my decision to start a blog lightly. The idea came to me when I was searching for an article/blog post that would help explain to my friends and family what it feels like to live with an autoimmune disease. I found a great piece from the blog But You Don’t Look Sick called The Spoon Theory. it’s a fantastic piece describing one woman’s attempt to explain what her life is like each day to her friend. If you haven’t read it, I highly recommend it.

The problem was that it took me a while to find something I liked and in the process I thought that it might be therapeutic and fun to start my own blog. I want to reach readers that are going through the same issues, and dealing with life while trying to keep a sense of humor.

After starting the blog about a week ago, I still hadn’t told my friends or family about it…until today. I decided to tell one of my good friends how excited I was about the blog, and that I’m getting so many wonderful comments from people who “get it.” His response was not what I expected.

Not having read my blog, he feels that it is going to be a place for me to be negative and bitch about my life. He said he thinks it will further perpetuate my thinking that “no one gets it.” He even said he wouldn’t read it because he already knows what it will be like. He also said he wasn’t excited for me.

Let me clear something up for the rest of you. I don’t feel that I’m being negative about having an autoimmune disease. It’s the card I’ve been dealt, and I am well aware that there are far worse cards out there. I have found it difficult to meet people who are going through an autoimmune disease. This is still very new to me after almost two years. My diagnosis has changed multiple times, and I need a place where I can go to get my thoughts out and not only get advice from other people, but also help people in the process.

I have thoroughly enjoyed your comments because I feel in touch with people who understand. So as I abruptly walked out my friends door, I thought…screw you. Writing about my journey makes me feel good. Meeting people that may have way more information than I do is awesome. Helping someone, even in the smallest way, know they aren’t alone is not a bad goal. It’s not negative, and it’s not just a bitch session.

The things I’ve blogged about including weight gain, morning stiffness, and people not understand even what rheumatoid arthritis is are things that are important to me. So if my friend doesn’t even want to look at my blog, so be it. If he thinks I’m spewing negativity and spending hours talking about me illness, he is wrong.  If anyone can laugh at themselves, it’s me! I give myself plenty to laugh at each day. I’m an imperfect mom of three young kids who didn’t come with a handbook. My life isn’t awful, but it’s certainly not dull either.

I’m not perfect, but my journey is never dull and I’m choosing to share it.

 

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6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. twistedrandall
    Jan 20, 2014 @ 13:23:24

    I wouldn’t worry about your friend. I too started my blog and my kids and husband don’t know. This is my place to bitch and complain about how I am feeling and how life is going. It also allows me to show how I am dealing with it and maybe get advice from others. I told a few close friends that would understand and that was it. Good luck and do what is best for you. I was going to start one a long time ago but didn’t because I was afraid of what people would think.

    Reply

  2. autoimmunemamabear
    Jan 20, 2014 @ 16:57:14

    Thank you for the encouragement. That is also why I chose not to have my name on this page. Sometimes you just need to vent with worrying about upsetting people.

    Reply

  3. fibrosuffer
    Jan 21, 2014 @ 01:43:15

    I have now gone to only subscribing to closed support groups for this same reason. Nothing gets me more upset than the ppl, or should I say person that sees what I go trough daily that makes negative comments about how lazy I am, or how he wakes up hurting every day too. His negativity has contributed to making my depression worse and therefore my stress worse, and ultimately my illness worse. I’m just sorry that I listened to him when he made his false promises to understand my illness, and that he was not scared of it, and wanted me in his life despite my being sick.

    Reply

    • autoimmunemamabear
      Jan 21, 2014 @ 01:49:32

      You summed up exactly how I feel. This is someone who researched my illness when I was diagnosed and tried to understand everything. Now he throws this out and I feel hurt. I really do try not to talk about how I feel all the time, but when I friend asks, I’m honest. I think people don’t always want to hear it.

      Reply

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