It Must Be a Funk


Today kind of sucked. I’ll just put that out there. Though it was still freezing, my kitchen pipe is still frozen, and I’m still in some pain, my misery has nothing to do with any of that. As I mentioned before, I have three children. Two of the three are dyslexic and two of the three (not the same two) have ADHD. Deciding to put my son on medication for ADHD when he was in second grade was one of the most difficult decisions I’ve ever had to make.

My son was not the ADHD kid who couldn’t sit still or who was disruptive in class. He wasn’t the typical ADHD kid. His symptoms were mostly anxiety. His anxiety got in the way of him learning. He was so focused on what everyone else thought of him, or if he was going to be the last one finished with a test, that it really got in the way of his school work.

His school work turned around within days. He went from trying way too hard to fit in and doing dumb things to try and do so, to being comfortable being him. I’ll have a little brag and tell you that three years later he is on the honor roll and works his butt off for his grades. Very proud mama!

My youngest daughter showed signs of ADHD early on. There has never been any volume control with kid #3. While I love her imagination and creativity (at 6 she KNOWS she’s going to be a fashion designer), I know she struggles a bit socially. She is also on a low dose of ADD meds. She’s a sensitive kid, but often comes across as a tough cookie. She can be very abrupt if she feels you’ve hurt her feelings.

Anyway, today I got an email from her teacher that she had a very uncharacteristic day. Then it hit me, I was in such a rush that I didn’t give her the medication. Her teacher said she disrupted other students during reading, and that she scratched another girl. When #3 got home I talked to her about it and she explained her side of what happened. The girl was pretending to be  cat and was pawing at her and she wanted the girl to stop. Ok, fine. There are certainly better ways of accomplishing that.

So we called the girl to apologize and the mother was a doll. Both our girls are in a social skills group at school so we know they both struggle in the friendship area. #3 made a lovely card apologizing and told her friend how sorry she was. It all worked out fine after a long talk with my daughter about her responsibility to be kind and a good friend to others.

Now a few hours later I’m in tears over it. My middle child (#2) makes friends so easily. She has a small core group of girls that are all sweet and kind. I feel so good about her having the right kind of friends that really care about each other and don’t have that bitchy-girl attitude. But this situation brought up the fact that #3 doesn’t have a lot of good friends. She had the very best kindergarten class ever, and I knew nothing was going to compete with that group.

She moved into first grade with two girls from her previous class, but there just seems to be so much more drama this year. #3 doesn’t read people well and often feels people are being mean to her, and to be brutally honest, I’ve seen her not be so nice to kids in response to what she “thinks” is going on…but she’s read the whole situation wrong.

So tonight instead of rambling about me, I’m rambling about my daughter, who will be seven next month. I was never in the popular crowd and I don’t think it ever bothered me much because I had nice friends. I just want that for #3. I want her to feel confident that she has friends who like her. As a mom, I can help my kids with learning issues. I spend hours doing homework with #1 and #2, who have dyslexia. They are both really smart kids who happen to learn in very different ways. I can do that. I can get a tutor if it’s something I’m not good with, but I can’t make friends for my kids.

I’m just having a hard evening realizing that she might continue to struggle in this area, as my son does. All I can do is my best, and I do that every day, but some days it hits you that your best may not be enough. I’m going to sleep on it and re-evaluate things tomorrow. I know I’m over-reacting with my sadness. I think it’s a funk! That’s what I’m going to call it…the I’m sick of it being 5 degrees; I’m sick of being in pain; I’m sick of stiff and painful joints; and I’m in a damn funk!


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