I Survived the Birthday Bash

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Twenty kids ranging from 6-10 running around a gymnastics facility. And that, my friends, was a darn good party. The birthday girl had a blast, and it seemed like everyone had a great time. I came home and took a nap…for two hours. Today wasn’t awful in terms of pain, so I lucked out. My hands are still stiff and in pain, but the pain is much more manageable today.

I did have a rough morning, but that’s more because everyone was annoying me. My in-laws are famous for making plans and not telling me. It’s frustrating to hear everything last minute. I like notice. I like to plan my day. They wanted to go to the movies after my daughter’s party, but it didn’t end up working out because the theater closed due to roof issues because of all the snow. Did I mention we have more coming on Tuesday?

My kids haven’t had school since last Wednesday. Heaven help me if they have a snow day on Tuesday. I don’t even know what we’re going to do tomorrow, other than number two’s project on Ireland. Number three has plenty of new toys to play with and number one needs to clean his room…badly!

I just read a post from another blogger about how alone she feels with her chronic pain, and I guess that’s really what’s been bothering me the past few days. Most people just want to hear that I feel “fine.” They don’t really want to know, even if they ask. It’s very lonely thinking most people don’t understand what it’s like just to get out of bed and walk into the kitchen on some mornings.

I’ve been feeling pretty depressed about it. I keep hoping there is an end in sight, but I’ll have a good day and then it seems to go right back to a high pain day. I haven’t had a few good days in a row in quite a while. I am feeling like Lyrica is in my future, mostly because I just want my life back. I want to go to a party and be able to run around with my kids.

I want to be on the floor being able to play games and not have trouble getting up. It’s frustrating and depressing. I’m not THAT old. I need to make a change, and right now, it’s looking like it’s medication.

I totally cheated on my gluten-free diet today and had birthday cake, but I’m getting serious again tomorrow and getting back to exercising every day, if possible. I know damn well there are days that I am not up to exercising, but on those days, I’m going to at least do some light stretching. I need to make some changes so I start to feel better about myself. I hate being heavy. I don’t like that my girls have heard me say I’m fat. I don’t want them to grow up with the issues I have.

I was a twig all my life until after number 3. Heck, two or three days after I had number one, I was back into a size 1 pants. My kids are all very lean and other than number two, they all eat well. Don’t ask me how number two survives on peanut butter crackers, waffles, pancakes, and crap.

Anyway, tomorrow is another day, but before bed I decided that I’m going to do a quick ab workout so I don’t keep putting things off until tomorrow. There is no reason I can’t start today.

I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend and is relatively pain free.

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