Today the Couch, Tomorrow Public Service

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As I mentioned last night, we are welcoming back the Polar Vortex here in the northeast, and with is came a lot of pain and stiffness. I’m finding that if I sit too long, I almost can’t get up when I want to. I’m hunched over and walking slow.

I spent most of the afternoon working from my couch with my heated blanket. I’m stressing out because my letter to our First Selectman has prompted him to want to meet with me in person tomorrow. For the most part, I’m level-headed. The only time I really get crazed is if I feel someone has hurt my kids…or sometimes with my in-laws.

I don’t plan on going in with an adversarial tone because I don’t think it will accomplish anything. To be honest, I don’t feel for one second that my meeting with this man will change his view on his proposed budget, but instead of complaining on Facebook about the situation, I’m actually stepping forward and meeting with the man.

My hope for tomorrow is that I’m not having a high pain day. I teach my Pilates class first thing in the morning, and usually I feel pretty good after that. If my pain can just hold off until the afternoon, that would be great.

It’s funny (not really) how I plan things these days. I used to make a lot of plans, but I just can’t with my autoimmune issues. Between the pain and stiffness from the rheumatoid arthritis and the exhaustion and overall body aches from fibromyalgia, those autoimmune diseases are in control over what I can and can’t do.

Coming to that realization was difficult. I’m not in control of things anymore. While I was never a control freak, it’s definitely still upsetting that I always need to give a disclaimer when I make plans. Me…the active person that can take on anything. I don’t know how I’m going to feel tomorrow or the next day, and that is hard for people to understand, and even more difficult for me to accept.

Hopefully I’ll come to terms with it at some point, but I doubt it…I’m stubborn. I’d love to hear how other people handle making plans and not knowing whether you’re going to have a bad flare, etc. It’s definitely something I struggle with.

Feel free to comment here or come join our Facebook Group and start the topic there. I look forward to getting know my readers on that page and becoming a support system of people who get it. We all could use that.

Tomorrow evening you’ll probably be reading that I threw up right before my meeting. I psych myself out way too much. Here’s to hoping there is no puke involved in my day tomorrow.

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