Again with the “Oh I Have Arthritis in My Hands, too”


I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. I truly hate explaining rheumatoid arthritis to people. You don’t just get RA in your hands. I know people draw from their own personal experiences to sympathize, but let’s be honest, I couldn’t understand what someone with cancer is going through. I’d listen and try and offer support, but I’d never say “I understand” because how could I possibly without going through it.

Years ago I went through a lot to have my children. After several miscarriages, I thought I was never going to be a mother. We started to look into adoption because I couldn’t take the daily blood work and invasive tests anymore. It was almost two years of hell and I just wanted to stop trying.

After going to a few adoption meetings my mother in law asking me why I wasn’t worried that I’d adopt a crack baby. Just the kind of “support” I could possible want. My husband convinced me to see another doctor, and he was the first person to listen to me. I knew exactly what I thought was wrong, even though I didn’t fit the profile.

After a one hour conversation, we asked me what type of medicine I practice, to which my husband rolled his eyes and said, “she’s not a doctor, she just plays one on the computer!” But…when I had a doctor that listened and agreed with my assessment and what I wanted to do, I got pregnant on the first try.

Conceiving my next two kids was easier as we knew what we needed to do, but in my last pregnancy we found out I was expecting twins. We lost a twin at about 16 weeks, and that baby crushed my third baby and she was born with her legs and feet twisted.

I gues my point in explaining my fertility was that I received the most idiotic comments ever when I was going through pregnancy loss and infertility. When I lost my first baby, the receptionist at my old job (whom I was friends with) told me she was so excited. I looked at her like she had three heads and she said, “at least you know you can get pregnant.” So she was excited and I was devastated over my loss.

All the stupid people that told me as soon as I file for adoption that’s when people get pregnant. Or, just don’t think about it…. I could go on, but you get the idea.

The same is true when people try and understand rheumatoid arthritis. IT’S NOT OSTEOARTHRITIS!!! I don’t have it in just my hands, though my hands are a large source of pain. RA affects your whole body. There are days I feel like I have the flu and can’t move. There are days were I’m limping like a 90-year-old woman, and then there are days like today where despite some swelling and pain in my hands, I’m not feeling too bad at all.

It’s just frustrating! I’ll stop bitching about it now. As for my fitness challenge, Day #2 went just fine. I guess I wasn’t expecting the full sit-ups to hurt, but I can’t even remember the last time I did those. That kind of pain is good pain. I’m trying hard, though with a meeting at Panera Bread, I did have a half of a tomato and mozzarella panini — my first panini ever and it was delicious.

I hope everyone is having a pain free evening. I am off to put my hands under my heating pad to try and help the Raynaud’s and the feeling that they will never get warm…ever.

Do your sit-ups everyone!! And the last note is that my kitten is doing well. She is still limping and hold her foot up, but the vet said there was no evidence of burns or cuts. It’s likely she sprained it. I’m praying it wasn’t my 7-year-old holding her in a death grip to give her kisses, but I think it’s more likely she jumped down from somewhere high up and landed wrong, or she caught it in something. I hate to see any animal in pain. I was relieved to hear little Cookie will be fine.



2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. twistedrandall
    Mar 06, 2014 @ 15:21:46

    I wish they would change the name. But when people say that, come back with “doesn’t having an autoimmune disease suck? I never realized that medications to crush your immune system were over $2000 a month. But the pain and exhaustion is the worst. How do you manage so well? Maybe I should switch my rheumatologist.” You will probably get a weird look but if they still insist they have it, have fun with it. Start asking them questions on their joint pain ect. Eventually it will click in that they don’t have the same thing and you have fun while educating them without their knowledge.


  2. autoimmunemamabear
    Mar 06, 2014 @ 15:58:17

    Haha! I will give that a try 🙂


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