It’s Not That Bad


I had a decent night of sleep last night, and I think it helped me feel better today. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still thoroughly disgusted with how I look, but I’ve come to the realization that I need to see the doctor. I’ve been dieting and exercising for weeks and my weight is going up.

So…my To Do list for Monday involves making an appointment with the doctor. I thought a lot about it, and I realized I’m scared. My mom got sick with cancer at 41 and died at 43. The thought that there might be something wrong hit me like a ton of bricks yesterday and my first instinct was to push it aside. Then I stopped being selfish and decided if there is something wrong, I need to know about it. I can’t leave me kids…I mean, do you even realize the crazy people that would be taking care of them? For that reason alone, I need to take care of myself.

On top of that, I know what it’s like to grow up without a mom, and I promised my kids I’d do everything in my power to stay healthy. If my doctor comes back and says nothing is wrong, then so be it, and I just need to cut out all sugar for a while.

Today actually turned out better than I thought. I appreciate the kind messages on last night’s post. Sometimes in dealing with the craziness that is my in-laws, I start to think it’s me. I start to think I’m nuts, and then I’ll run it by someone and realize it’s not me in this case. I’m not perfect, and I’m sure I’ve said things that irk them, too, but I’m not mean.

I enjoyed my friend’s bridal shower today. This is her second chance at happiness. Her first marriage didn’t turn out so well, and the guy told her he didn’t want to have children. She couldn’t see her life without kids and that started their downward spiral. I’ll just put it out there and say he’s an ass. The good news is that she met someone who is so nice, and she looks so truly happy.

On the autoimmune front, my legs are super sore today. I am sure part of it is still from my class on Thursday morning, but my it’s rainy and damp, and that’s never a good combination with my rheumatoid arthritis. My hips hurt and I’m walking like an old lady again. It’s fitting since tomorrow is my birthday and I’ll be a little older….

I’ve decided to go get a mani/pedi with my girls in the morning and then I have no idea what we’re doing. I need to finish working on this website before it kills me. I forced myself to take a break and write a blog because I was afraid I was going to miss something important. I needed a break from the Spanish nutrition charts.

I’m supposed to have it finished my tomorrow, and I really hoped to be done tonight, but I’m not sure I’ll make it. Ok, break time is over…back to Spanish nutrition charts. I can’t top last night’s blog picture (which totally cracked me up) so I’m posting a damn nutrition chart because that’s how boring my night is!


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