Where the Hell Did Spring Go?


I swear it was warm yesterday and the day before. Today I’m back to freezing…not just cold, like full on heated blanket, hands like ice, freezing. That was just a cruel tease of warm weather. I think it’s supposed to be warm again on Sunday, but I have no idea about tomorrow. It may rain.

It wasn’t a great day for my rheumatoid arthritis either. I woke up with stiff hip and knee joints that lasted throughout the day. I had my tutoring session with my autistic client, and came home for what was supposed to be a very quick nap, but it turned into two blissful hours of sleep followed by me scrambling to clean the house before my niece and nephew arrived to sleep over.

Originally, tonight was supposed to be a gala for the nonprofit organization that I work for, but unfortunately it was canceled and somehow that opened the door for me to watch my sister-in-law’s kids so they could all go to New York City for the night. It usually isn’t a problem as our kids get along well, but my son already had a friend sleeping over so the dynamic was different and my niece wasn’t afraid to share that she was unhappy that they weren’t the only ones here. The main struggle when they are here is between the three girls. My niece prefers my older daughter over my younger daughter, despite the fact that she and my younger daughter are just two weeks apart. I usually end up refereeing a bit, but tonight wasn’t so bad.

The excitement for the evening was that I was getting texts that they were planning our Disney dinners and activities on the way to NYC. Apparently my girls are booked for the Biddity Bobbity Boo Salon and luckily I got my son out of that before it was too late!  They often forget that he’s going on 11 and the next youngest boy in the family is 4. That’s quite an age difference and let’s just say they have quite a difference in interests, but who am I? I’m the one who is disagreeable!

Because of the stiffness and exhaustion, I didn’t exercise at all today. I thought about doing some ab work or weights after dinner…does that count? I’ll get back on it tomorrow. I’ve been really good all week, so today can be my day of rest. Even the fat dog didn’t look like she wanted to be outside for a walk. We’ll see how it looks tomorrow, otherwise I’ll do my elliptical and some weights inside. It’s sad that I can’t take the cool weather, but I’m a wuss now.

It’s been kind of a long week. I had the opportunity to connect with some cousins on my mom’s side in trying to figure out what to do to help the mother of the girl who was arrested earlier in the month. What a mess. This is on my mom’s side of the family and these are just the most warm and kind people. Unfortunately with my mom passing away so young, I missed a lot about growing up close to them. Things changed when I moved in with my father and there wasn’t the Internet to keep in touch so easily. Long story short, we saw each other on occasion at my grandmother’s and eventually reconnected online with the closer cousins. This week has been interesting because it showed me that no matter how often we see each other, or for that matter, how well we know each other, we are a support network.

This girl’s mother is a distant cousin, don’t even ask me how she’s related, but she was adopted at 5 and had severe attachment issues. She was given a loving home, but has severe psychological problems and needs help. Her mother was advised by the girl’s psychiatrist to put her in a psychiatric home for teens, and that’s what she did after the girl was arrested three times and refused her meds.

I know this story has little to do with me, but my point is through this scenario of someone I met once as a little girl, it reaffirmed that I am part of a family…a big, loving, kind Italian family. Though, we may not see each other all the time, when the chips are down, we line up to see what we can do. That’s something I’m proud to be a part of, and it made me think wow, these people would be there for me, should I ever need it. Oh I’ll never ask…that’s not me! But, what wonderful feeling I was left with last night after speaking to my cousins.

I’m often cynical because, let’s face it, not many people understand autoimmune diseases. It’s annoying and I just tend not to talk about it rather than explain it. I’m not the person that will sit down and easily open up, which is another reason why this blog is a healthy and good thing for me (so my friend who disagrees can still bite me). I spend a fair amount of time wishing my life were different. Wishing my mom was alive. Wishing I didn’t feel like hell. Wishing things were happier. BUT, I know I’m blessed, too. I have three amazing kids, who bring me more joy than I could ever imagine. They are crazy, happy, smart, and more than I could ever dream of. I also have a family that cares. I need to remember that more often.

There’s my positive thinking for the day!


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