Migraine-Day 2

My migraine is still going strong with no signs of stopping. I woke up and took some medication to get through a few hours of tutoring my autistic client this morning. He gave me a literal run for my money when he took off sprinting toward the company coffee shop in search of candy. There I was running after him shouting, “don’t forget to hold the railings” as he headed for the stairs and I knew I had no chance of catching him.

It wasn’t our best session. Let’s leave it at that! My day didn’t get much better when my kids got home early with a half day and my son took off his ADHD patch early without telling me. I think he likes to test me to see if I will notice. Um…yeah…it’s not difficult to tell. Between driving his sisters nuts, not listening to a word I said, and then coming up with the brilliant idea to juggle the recycling bottles in the garage, it sure wasn’t a stretch to guess that he took it off early.

I’m not going to lie. I flipped out on him today. Mostly for lying. I came outside and saw broken glass and looked him. He immediately said, “it wasn’t me. I didn’t do it.” I gave him another chance to tell the truth and he stuck with his story. The one thing I always tell my kids is that they will get in much more trouble if they lie than they will if they tell the truth and admit to doing something wrong. After about five minutes he admitted he broke the glass, and only then did I learn he was practicing his juggling skills. My subsequent questions were #1: Did you think to use tennis balls? #2: What did you think was going to happen if you dropped one? #3. Why the hell were you juggling glass bottles so close to my car? #4. (which I didn’t say out loud) What the fuck is wrong with you?

So, suffice it to say, the migraine wasn’t getting any better. I had dinner plans with old friends tonight that had been canceled a few times already, so I didn’t feel like I could cancel on them again. I met them for dinner, and it was really nice to see them. My headache persisted through dinner, but not so bad that I couldn’t get a few laughs in and enjoy myself.

These girls are not people that I see on a regular basis anymore since one of the gyms I worked at for many years closed down, but they were with me through many boyfriends, an engagement, a marriage, some miscarriages, three pregnancies and babies, etc. We go way back, but they haven’t seen me in months. Not only have a gained a lot of weight because of the medicine, but they all noticed when I got up from the chair after dinner, that it wasn’t easy.

You know that feeling after you’ve been sitting for two hours. You can’t just stand up anymore. It’s not that easy. My joints don’t want to move after they’ve been in the same position for a while. As I hobbled a little bit out of the restaurant my friend that I’m the closest with (we went through several pregnancy losses and infertility treatments together) took me aside to ask me how I was really doing.

It’s funny, we have our groups of friends that it’s okay to say, yes, I’m having a hard time…the meds are hard; I have some tough days, etc. Then you have friends that really want to know how you are emotionally, too. My friend Julie is like that. She’s a love. We can go months without talking because we both have very busy lives, but our friendship is solid and she’s a darn good person. I confessed that it was a little hard for me to come out tonight as one of the last times I saw some of these women I was a lot thinner and I was thinking they’d all be looking at me like…wow, she let herself go!

Somehow after talking to Julie I stopped caring about that crap and remembered that these ladies really care about me and were likely more concerned with how I’m doing than anything else. I need to knock off that crap with being so worried about what other people thing. I’ll add that to the list of things I need to work on.

For now, I’m praying I don’t wake up with this migraine. It’s also raining out and that’s not helping the joint pain either. My hips are really bad today. Usually it’s just the right one, but tonight both of them feel locked up.

Now if I could just ask one favor…if you could send some positive vibes tomorrow morning to my daughter as she goes to her audition for a small children’s role in The Wizard of Oz, I’d really appreciate it. She’s been practicing all day, and I’m so proud of her. I’m praying that she holds onto this confidence tomorrow at the audition because boy, she’s taking my breath away…spoken like a true mama!

Tonight’s off-topic rant: Have you read about this Ukranian model that thinks she’s the human Barbie doll? Apparently she’s striving to become a Breatharian, someone who survives on air and sunlight. Honey, if it was that easy, we’d all be Breatharians! You need to check this girl out. Now I realize having child is not for everyone, and that’s perfectly fine, but she said she’d rather be tortured than have a family. I needed to share this because it’s freaking me out. Someone else needs to be freaked out with me.