It’s Raining and Cold, But It’s a Better Day


Last night was terrible. It was one of the worst migraine’s I’ve had in a really long time. Nothing took the pain away except the ice on the back of my neck. It was awful, but thankfully when I woke up it was gone. I was left exhausted. It really knocked me out, but thankfully pain-free. I can’t even put into words what I felt like last night. I think my poor son was scared. He sat with me and just held my hand while I laid down with ice on my head. For some reason, he felt that was a good time to tell me his feeling about something going on in his life and you would think that would have been the worst timing ever, but when you’re a mom, and your baby needs to talk, you listen.

That’s actually all he really wanted was for me to listen. My son is a worrier, a lot like his mama. He needs to sort out his feelings a lot and I think it’s awesome that he feels like he can talk to me about anything. He knows I don’t judge his feelings, and for the most part I think I give decent advice. After he talked we just sat in silence for a while and before he went to bed he said, “Mom, even when you’re sick you never stop being my mom.”

I’m so glad they know that. I try so hard not to let my autoimmune diseases and migraines get in the way of being a parent, but let’s be honest, some days it’s really hard. Last night was awful. I wanted to bang my head into a wall at one point, but what my son really noticed was that I had the time to listen to him, so that’s what matters the most.

My kids are home for spring break and they are very close to being given away buy one, get two free! They are loud, annoying, and holy crap, they never stop eating! I cooked more food today than I think I eat in a week. I sent my son to his room around 8pm after he called his sister chubby, which doesn’t fly in my world. First of all, my girls are toothpicks, and second, crap like that does way too much damage to little girls. It is not tolerated at all. At the moment, he’s claiming to be starving to death, but I’m pretty sure after five pieces of French toast, three scrambled eggs, three cupcakes, peanut butter sandwiches, blueberries, grapes, popcorn, pasta with sauce, and pizza bagels consumed by him since 9AM, I’m fairly sure he’s going to make it through until morning.

At the moment I’m just plain irritated. I need to go to sleep. I’m thankful my headache is gone, and trying not to complain, but today kind of sucked. It was 75 degrees here two days ago? Today it’s rainy and cold again. I know I live in New England, but this is ridiculous. Pick a temperature! This is messing with my rheumatoid arthritis big time. My joints don’t know what to think.

The damp cold meant a lot of stiffness today, but I made it through my class okay this morning. I wasn’t up to doing my elliptical and it wasn’t walking weather, so that’s all the exercise I got. I did help my friend make chocolate wedding favors for the wedding that I’m in on May 3rd. Wow, that’s coming up quick and I haven’t lost any of the weight I wanted to lose. I have to make peace with it.

I’ve been eating well and not snacking as much, and I’ll weigh myself again in a day or two. If the weight is still going up, I’ll call my doctor and make the decision to do the CAT scan as she recommended. I’m eating healthy and exercising. She did mention pre-menopause, but dear lord, could that make me gain this much weight? I just don’t think this is normal.

Anyway, I have my cats, and they didn’t drive me nuts today, so that’s a plus! Right now I hear sleet hitting my bedroom window and I can hardly believe I was in shorts two days ago. This is crazy! I was just starting to feel good with the sunshine and warmth, well aside from the migraine.

And to be even more random this evening…I’m watching Wife Swap. Oh my! Jermaine Jackson is on and one of the Baldwin guys…I think Daniel. I’m cracking up at Jermaine. Is he really still a famous person? And why does he have a better wardrobe than I do? He has more shoes than I’ve ever owned in my life.

Last offbeat news of the evening, tomorrow night I’m scheduled to have a reading by a medium. I’m not even sure I’m prepared for this. In fact, I know I’m not. I thought about canceling it today. There is such a huge part of me that wants to hear from my mom; that wants to believe it’s real. I don’t know what to believe or if I’ll believe it because I want to believe it. Will I back out during the day? I just don’t know!! You’ll have to stay tuned tomorrow and find out. I’m supposed to have my reading at 9pm tomorrow, so the blog will be posted after that…once I compose myself. Hopefully I won’t be a blubbering mess. HAHA!




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