The Day After a Meltdown

It’s 1:00AM and I’m still working. That does not equate to a good day. I spent most of my day coding baby food for which states it is approved for WIC. Doesn’t that sound exciting? It wasn’t!

I finished that about 11:30, and I need to finish this girl’s novel by tomorrow. I wasn’t expecting the baby food to take as long as it did, so I’m in panic mode trying to finish it. I’ll probably go to bed after writing this blog, and try and finish the rest of it in the morning.

It’s funny, this client was bothering me to no end last week, and now I’m scrambling like hell to help her. I guess I am nice sometimes 🙂 She’s actually a nice person. I think she was just getting the runaround from the self-publisher that she was using. Please, if you’re writing a novel and you plan to self-publish, do your research on reputable publishers. Or, feel free to shoot me an email. I’d rather answer questions than see people in the situation this poor girl is in, having spent a great deal of money with a messy manuscript.

The funny thing is that I’m really enjoying it now that I’m putting some work into it. I think it’s going to do well for her.

Despite going at high speed for more than a week now, I have to say I physically feel pretty good. I have been pretty surprised that my body hasn’t cried uncle with a rheumatoid arthritis or a fibro flare, but so far so good. The only glitch in my day that caused physical pain was of my own doing!

I was carrying groceries in from the car and I tripped over a loose brick in my walkway. I scrambled to regain my balance and in the process and did something to my right thigh. Whether it was a twist or a pull…no idea, but all I can tell you is that it hurts. I’m icing it.

If you read last night’s blog you know I had a meltdown last night. It was ugly. I’m not even sure I made sense because I didn’t want to go back and read it because I didn’t want to relive any of it. I didn’t end up calling my doctor with my busy day, but I do have an appointment to talk to someone with MediFast tomorrow, and I’m going to give that a try.

I am also going to call my doctor tomorrow to schedule to CT scan. It just didn’t get done today because the whole thing seemed very overwhelming. I know I need to do it. I’m actually very afraid to hear the word cancer. Cancer of the whatever…I just need to hear that I don’t have cancer.

The unexplained weight gain is really throwing me. I’ve been eating so healthy. I’m not saying I never have something sweet, but I am usually staying at around 1,200 calories a day and I’m not losing anything. I just need to get things checked out and I need to start something so I’m working toward a goal.

Perhaps taking thinking out of the equation is the way to go for a month or two. Most things are done for me, and I make a healthy dinner, which I’ve already been doing. It’s also something where I have a coach that I check in with that might help when I’m having a meltdown. I don’t know…to be honest, I turn inward when I’m having a “moment.”

I just know I need to try something. It’s not cheap, but I’m doing it for me.