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Did you ever have one of those days where you want to just sit in bed, under the covers and ignore the world? Well, that’s exactly what I’m doing today. I can’t say that I’m in that much pain, it’s not that. My hands are stiff, but nothing like when it’s cold out. I think I likely did too much yesterday trying to organize my house. I got three rooms, done, and my kids’ rooms still look like a tornado passed through.

I’m overwhelmed and I just lack the energy to do anything about it. All I want to do is cry today, and I don’t have a specific reason. Yesterday sucked. I spent the day cleaning. My kids were tough. My son just completely over-reacts, my younger daughter doesn’t listen, and my older daughter has an attitude. I wanted her to practice her singing, and it was like I asked her to walk across hot coals. This is the kid that begged me to let her take singing lessons and can’t wait to go each week.

Newsflash…mom isn’t paying for lessons if you don’t practice. Then she dropped the other bomb on me that she is too scared to do the recital. As her mother, I knew it was coming. She’s been getting so much better with her confidence, but getting up in front of a room full of people and singing alone would rattle even a confident kid. I’m not sure how to handle it. I’m stumped. Do I push her to do it because she really is good? I mean, if she wasn’t that good, I would never push her to do it. I would encourage her to work on a different talent. The thing is, she is really good. In fact, her voice coach, thinks she so good that she has someone coming to listen to her for a children’s choir in August.

I think it’s a tough one for me because I’m reliving this through my daughter. I was the kid who could sing, and was deathly afraid. I was telling her that I got up in front of the school in sixth grade to sing a solo, and I started too early, and I panicked. Then, when it came to singing in front of the parents I was really nervous, but I did it perfectly. But, I let my nerves get the best of me and never tried again, and I don’t want to see her do that. I’m not that mom who wants to relive their childhood through their kid, but I see how happy she is when she’s working with her coach. She loves every minute of it, and she really is good. Ugh…this parenting stuff is tough.

Anyway, I wish I could say that’s all that was on my mind. I wish I could even narrow down what’s on my mind. I’m just feeling depressed and blue today. I’m afraid to get on the scale tomorrow, though I really have done a darn good job with this stupid diet. I haven’t stepped on the scale since last Tuesday morning and I know I’m going to be disappointed if I haven’t lost any weight…or even if I lost like 2 pounds.

I should get the hell out of bed, take a shower and go for a walk, but I just don’t feel like it. I don’t like anyone around me, except maybe my cats. I’m exhausted. I think I just depleted everything I had working on that novel. it sounds dumb because it’s “just reading” but it took over my life for like 2 weeks. It was nuts and I just need a break. I’ve been struggling on and off with headaches again and I’m just darn tired.

I don’t usually blog during the day, but I needed to vent. Hopefully, it will pass…


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Julie Ryan
    May 21, 2014 @ 15:33:04

    We all have bad days where the best thing we can do (for ourselves and the world) is hide under the covers. Don’t feel bad about it. Also, I hope your appointment with the PPT went well.


  2. fefe23
    May 22, 2014 @ 02:08:51

    I have that I wanna hide under the covers from the world a lot. I’m glad I’m not the only one


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