Oh Arthritis…I Didn’t Miss You

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I can’t say welcome back, but I figured my reprieve from my RA wouldn’t last forever. This morning I woke up for the first of what’s supposed to be one of many rainy days and my right hip was not in good shape. It was a slow go this morning, but I had to teach my class. It definitely wasn’t the toughest class I’ve taught, but I made it through.

I’m going to be brutally honest and tell you that I slept from about noon to almost 3pm. I was absolutely useless today. I couldn’t focus. I was in pain. At one point I thought I was getting a migraine (thank goodness that didn’t happen), but overall I just really felt like crap. I’m trying not to complain because I really have had a good few weeks in terms of joint and muscle pain. It’s been more than manageable. In fact, tonight is the first night in a long time that I’ve had to take an anti-inflammatory.

So basically what I’m telling you that I’ve had a crappy day. I’m in a funk for all sorts of reasons. Pain is definitely one, but people are pissing me off right and left. I joke about being anti-social, but there is just a big part of me that prefers to stay out of social situations because people are cliquey and even adults are catty and mean. Okay, not all of them. I happen to know a lot of wonderful people! Let me put that right out there. It’s just that lately I’ve been at every baseball game, etc. for my kids and I’m not in the “in” crowd.

My son isn’t in the “in” crowd, and it bothers him terribly. I’m a grown-up. I could care less if some of those people like me because at the end of the day I have true and wonderful friends that I can count on. I don’t need those people, but my son really wants to fit in. I guess I can relate to it. I spent a lot of my middle school and high school years feeling like I didn’t fit in, and trying too hard, and it kills me to see him doing the same thing. And, boys are so much more dorky than girls. They get silly and stuff. I don’t get it.

Maybe I’m cranky. I hate ending the day feeling like a bad parent. I did a lot of yelling tonight…it wasn’t my best parenting night either. My daughter has been so bitchy lately. I’m not even sure what to do anymore. Nothing seems to work with her. I told her I’m going to start taking stuff away from her every single time she speaks in that tone. It’s killing me because she’s the sweetest kid and she’s just flying off the handle at nothing. Perhaps hormones? She’s only nine. When do hormones start? Dear lord, I’m not sure I’m ready for that!

I think I’m just a crab and I’m going to call it a night because this blog has turned into one big bitch session. Sorry about that. Even my cats avoided me today. Hopefully tomorrow will be better!

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Rebekah Miller
    May 28, 2014 @ 02:17:15

    Sometimes kids go thru phases of jerk-ness. Adults do too. It’s part of the human condition. I like the book How to Talk so Kids Will Listen And Listen So Kids Will Talk. I found it to be most helpful.

    I also try to remember that my (step) kiddos (ages 9 and 11) are people too. They have their own thoughts and emotions and mood swings just like I do. When my behavior is less than awesome – like when I was in a snappy mood after the diamond fell out of my engagement ring – I apologize to them. I hope by owning up to my sucky behavior, they’ll feel comfortable owning up to their sucky behavior as well.

    I hope your RA gives you a break soon.

    Reply

    • autoimmunemamabear
      May 28, 2014 @ 16:11:02

      I also strongly believe that owning up to my own sucky behavior is so important. Kids need to know that adults make mistakes, too! I just can’t tell if some of his drama is hormones starting, or if his ADD meds are too low, or if he’s just ridiculously hard on himself. This parenting stuff is hard. Thank you for the book recommendation. I will check it out.

      Reply

      • Rebekah Miller
        May 29, 2014 @ 03:05:04

        Parenting is ever so hard. Neither of my kiddos have ADD, but 11yr old Luke has serious anxiety. Panic attacks. Shortness of breath. The whole 9 yards. It’s hard to know when he needs comfort and when he needs to handle things on his own. Parenting is fun like that, I guess.

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