Perhaps It’s Time To Up the Meds

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I tried. I tried to lower my Celexa in the hope that it would help me to lose weight. It’s been a month and you know what? I’m a bitch from hell! I’m snapping at everyone. I have so much anxiety and stress and I was starting to wonder what the hell was happening. Was I under THAT much more stress? Okay, my son has been going through a lot and it has caused me to want to get on his bus and pummel someone…but I haven’t actually done it. I think it’s more the fear and worries I have for him that are affecting my life and causing me to be…well, neurotic.

Today I was actually thinking about moving out of my town because I hate the people involved in all the sports and I hate that I feel like my son doesn’t really fit in. I’m not moving. I’m not losing it, but I did decide that I felt better on the higher dose of Celexa. The tiny dose of 10mg that I was on wasn’t cutting it. I felt better on 20mg and it’s not a failure. Yes, I’m telling myself that as much as I’m telling you.

I accept that I just feel better on the 20mg. I might even go as far to say I’m a nicer person, maybe even a nicer mom. I’ve been snapping at my kids and I don’t like that. I just feel like I’m on the verge of tears or a breakdown a lot of the time, but it never actually comes to that. I’m getting upset about stupid things. So, I started back on the 20mg tonight, and I’ll call my doctor tomorrow to tell her. It’s the right decision for me, even if it hinders the weight loss a bit.

Today was a decent day in terms of my RA. I was able to get out for a three mile walk for the first time in a really long time. It was really beautiful here and I just needed to get out of the house after a disastrous playoff baseball game (we lost) and a hellish 5-year-old birthday party for my nephew that was really loud. I took some me-time and went for a walk. It was a beautiful, sunny day and it really felt good. I have a feeling I will be achy from it tomorrow, but it was worth it.

I’m going to see how I feel and maybe try to do half of that walk tomorrow. It’s fairly flat, so it’s not as difficult as my regular walk. It’s not as hard on my joints though, because it doesn’t have the steep hills. If I feel okay, I’m going to try to get out there again. I think it did my mind good, as well as my body.

My hands are a bit swollen this evening, which is odd. I’m not sure if the walk started something or whatnot, but it’s not horrid. Just enough to be a little annoying. I’m going to take an anti-inflammatory before I go to bed and hope for the best. I’m watching the Western Conference Hockey finals. I am hoping the Chicago Blackhawks win, but only for a friend of mine, not because it really matters to me. It only matters that the Rangers win. Playoff hockey is so much more interesting to watch.

I have a busy week ahead and I am going to work on not being so cranky. Wish me luck!

 

 

 

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