Go Away Cold Rain

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It’s been a few days since my last blog. Mostly I’ve just been too tired and feeling stressed. I’ve started to write a blog once or twice but it just wasn’t flowing. I just have had a lot on my mind over the past few days, yet nothing huge. It’s just a lot of little stuff all at once. I have so many end of the school year things going of with my kids, and the weather has been cold and rainy, which makes it that much harder. Today was downright dreary and damp. I haven’t limped this bad in weeks. I am in quite a bit of pain in my hip and all the way down my leg.

I don’t think it’s supposed to warm up any time soon. Maybe over the weekend, but I’m not sure. It’s June and I’m still freezing and in pain. Something is wrong with this picture!  Anyway, I’ve been a bit down because my weight loss journey has been sucking. I’m losing about a pound a week. That just plain sucks. I’m going to try and step up the exercise, but it’s depressing when I’m hearing all these other people on MediFast losing 7lbs on the first week. I lost 3lbs. I just can’t shake the feeling that something is wrong. I’m eating about 1,200 calories a day and I’m still not losing weight. I’m going to try to add in more cardio, even though it’s against what my “coach” advises, I’m kind of a rebel like that and I do my own thing anyway.

If I push myself to walk or do my elliptical everyday (or everyday that I’m not feeling like I can’t walk) then maybe I’ll see better results. It just stinks to not feel good about yourself. Overall, I will admit that I do feel better now that I upped my dose of Celexa back to the 20mg. I’m not snapping at everyone. I’m sure my family is happy. Heck, my daughters broke one of my kitchen chairs and I took it all in stride and even laughed it off the other day. I think I would have flipped out two weeks ago. I just feel better on the medication…even if it’s adding to some of my weight issue.

My kids are getting out of school next week and part of me is excited not to have to get up at 6:30 in the morning, and then the other part of me is dreading hearing that they are bored, and the bickering. We have a few things planned for the summer, some camp and one vacation, but I don’t like to over-plan. I really like to relax with the kids and plan things as we go. My son starts football in August and that’s four nights per week, so July is really our time to do whatever we want. I have broken it to them yet that they have two of them have reading for summer school. They aren’t going to be thrilled with that, but it’s something they need.

I wish I could explain the other reasons why I’ve been in a pissy mood. I’ve just been a big crab. I’m starting to see how school politics interferes with children getting much needed special education services. Many of the families that I’m working with have children who more than qualify for special education services, yet they are given the run around by schools and told bullshit reasons why their kids don’t qualify. If those parents don’t ask the right questions, they would believe these “professionals” and for someone like me, who is a huge believe in the benefits of early intervention, it can be devastating to a child to miss out on services during this crucial time. I’m slowly learning that it’s often not about the child or his/her needs. It’s about money, and that makes me very frustrated and angry.

Maybe it’s me and my rose colored glasses, but I’d like to still think that the schools want to help children with special needs. They are required to under the law. But it’s often political crap. It’s more frustrating though when it’s a little child losing out in a fight between grownups. It’s hard for me to watch, and has kind of made me reconsider my own path in work toward being an parent advocate. I started my first course…and wow, I haven’t been to school in a long time! And, I have never taken classes in law, so this is all new to me, but it’s online so I can watch the seminars over and over and do the papers when I have time. Slowly but surely, I might have a chance to get it.

There are so many kids that need help and so many parents that don’t know where to begin. I’ll be the advocate that is not making any money though, because I will be helping all the people that can’t afford an advocate in the first place. I’ll try and find one or two paying clients a month 🙂

Ok, well that’s it for my crabbing. I’m going to turn on my eating pad and go to bed.

 

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. seemorrigan
    Jun 15, 2014 @ 17:03:23

    Go ahead and be in a pissy mood. Polite solicitude takes a lot of energy. Short-tempered crabbiness can be done for free. Save your energy for the what really matters – you. Thanks for posting this; I’m glad I found your blog. 🙂 Hugs.
    -TGA

    Reply

    • autoimmunemamabear
      Jun 15, 2014 @ 17:09:11

      Thanks so much! Some days we just need to do what we have to do to get through. I find that people who have an autoimmune disease just get that, so it’s important that we find each other and support each other. Thanks for your comment!

      Reply

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