Glad Today Is Over


Today was horrible. Not because of my autoimmune issues, but because I had to go to two wakes this evening. While both were sad, obviously losing someone is never easy, the first one that I went to really hit me very hard. It was for an 11-year-old boy, who died in an ATV accident. I think because of the accident I wasn’t expecting an open casket, but I was wrong.

As I walked up to the building, just 15 minutes after the wake began, the line was already out the door and into the parking lot. Waiting on line there were family pictures, including baby pictures, school pictures, etc. I was trying to hold it together before I even saw the family. It’s just not right to have to go to a child’s wake or funeral. It’s not the way it should be. Of course I know it happens, but it was awful.

When I approached my friend, the boy’s father, I lost it. I don’t even know what I ended up saying to try and offer words of comfort. I mean, what can you say? He basically told me that nothing seemed real for him and that the only was he was able to stand there was that he was in complete denial.

I left there a complete mess. As a mom of a son, who is about to turn 11, of course I immediately put myself in their position. How do you get through it? They have to go on. They have another little boy that they have to continue living for, but I just don’t know what to do for them other than pray at the moment.

I feel like I can’t even begin to talk about my rheumatoid arthritis issues tonight, because given the day I’ve had and seeing the suffering of so many friends and family members, all I cared about tonight was coming home and hugging my kids. They aren’t perfect…heck, they often drive me nuts! But, I thank God for them. I might be the over-protective helicopter mom, according to my now ex-friend (the one who hated my blog and deleted me from Facebook), but this is who I am. I am over-protective. I do probably worry too much, but that’s the kind of mother I am.

I also have the relationship with my kids where we talk about feelings and it’s okay to cry. I’m not trying to raise cry babies, but what I mean is, I think it’s important to raise kids that are sensitive. Part of the problem I see with a lot of adults is that they are so busy on their damn phones and with their lives that they are really insensitive to the people around them. It’s important to me that my kids understand compassion and that they are sensitive to others.

We are far from perfect, but then again, who is? I hope everyone is have a pain free day. Also, I wanted to remind you to join the Autoimmune Mama Facebook Group. We are friendly, but I’d love the board to be more active so please come join us. It’s a great place to meet other people and chat about our autoimmune issues or just vent.



3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Rebekah Miller
    Jun 26, 2014 @ 01:31:44

    Luke is 11. Sheesh that’s terribly heart breaking to hear about that little boy.

    Also, none of my friends know my blog exists because of people like that crazy-pants who blocked you on Facebook. I see nothing wrong with your blog. Unfortunately, I probably won’t join the autoimmune mama fb group because most people on fb don’t know I have RA.


  2. autoimmunemamabear
    Jun 26, 2014 @ 01:46:35

    It’s a very personal decision letting people know. I chose to mostly because I knew quite a few people battling RA and I wanted as much info as I could get. I won’t lie, with that comes a lot of annoying and stupid comments about home remedies, etc., but it does help to not have to explain on days when I’m limping or moving slow.


  3. autoimmunemamabear
    Jun 26, 2014 @ 01:48:30

    Also, I the FB group is set up as private. I don’t know if you can see the members unless you are a member. If you have a sec, try it out and let me know if you can see the members. If so, I will adjust the settings to help keep it private for everyone. I want everyone to be able to speak freely there and not worry about anyone other than the group seeing it.


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