RIP Robin Williams

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I was so sad to hear of Robin Williams’ passing today, but even more sad to learn that it was suicide. I knew he had struggled with drugs and depression, but it’s hard to understand how someone can seem to have everything and still feel alone and depressed. It reminded me very much of autoimmune diseases in that depression is its own invisible illness, and its one that so many people just don’t understand. While I have periods of feeling depressed, I struggle more with anxiety than depression, and I certainly have never felt so low as to contemplate suicide.

A person has to be in tremendous pain to feel that suicide is the best or only option. There are people online saying how selfish it is, and I get that. Yes, it is a selfish choice that leaves others behind with questions and unspeakable grief, but think of what kind of pain the person had to be in to want to take their life away. Obviously it’s more than just being upset or going through a lot. It’s clinical depression and it’s way beyond the scope of what most people can comprehend. My heart goes out to his family and I’m just finding myself feeling so sad for him tonight. He brought so much laughter and light into people’s lives and most of them never knew how badly he was suffering.

I remember when I was a kid we’d all watch Mork and Mindy as a family. He was fantastic. He just got better and better, but you can go back and watch one of those re-runs today you can see that raw talent–his ability to take a scene and run with it. He was an amazing talent and I’m finding myself feeling very sad about his passing tonight.

As for my, physically I’m not in my best shape. Little by little over the last few days my lower back and hips have started to tighten up. I have been waking up very stiff and ending the day the same way. I could hardly keep my eyes open this afternoon and ended up needing to lay down for a nap. I think my late nights at The Wizard of Oz are catching up with me. I’ve also still been fighting this sore throat on and off. It’s not bad enough to call the doctor. It kind of comes and goes, but it’s just enough to annoy me now and then…and yes, I’m still coughing.

I do have an appointment with the rheumatologist either Friday or Monday. Isn’t that pathetic. That’s how crazy life has been. I seriously need to call the office tomorrow and confirm which day my appointment is on and what time. I need to start using my phone for these things. I swear Siri hates my guts. I even asked her one day and she told me I was being irrational. I can’t stand her or that darn phone. Whenever I need something she says she’s sorry she can’t help me at the moment or she gives me some crap from Wikipedia that has nothing to do with what I needed. So much for being a smart phone!

Tomorrow I intend to teach my class and then get some work done around the house. After that I’m resting. I know my kids won’t be thrilled but they need to catch up on summer reading anyway. My son is way behind. My youngest daughter has been a bit of a pill lately, and I’m not sure what to do about it. Whenever I tell her no, she pouts and throw a fit and I’m not the type of mom that puts up with that crap. She’s been getting in a lot of trouble but nothing seems to be sinking in.

I have to figure out a new way to get through to her. I will figure that out tomorrow. I’ll put that on my To-Do list right after my nap!

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