Crying for No Reason

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Did you ever want to cry for no reason? I mean nothing is really wrong. My kids are fine…I’m counting down the days until they go back to school, but that’s only because they are bickering all the time. They are healthy and happy. Work is going really well. I know I’m overwhelmed that my house is a mess and that I have a lot to do before school starts, but I don’t cry when I’m overwhelmed, nor do I want to.

So this is my dilemma tonight. I got home from my son’s football practice and I feel sad. For once I’m not stressing about how my son is doing at a sport. He actually seems to be doing quite well. Don’t get me wrong, he’s no star player, but last year he had a fear in him of being tackled or tackling someone. Since he did wrestling last winter (against every fiber of my being) he lost that fear of falling and being knocked down. I actually think that will really help him in football, and most of all he seems happy. That’s half the battle because he’s very dramatic, not on the field, but when he gets home.

There’s a mom there that I don’t particularly like. I have been nicely avoiding her and that’s been working okay for both of us. I don’t say this about many people, but she’s a nut job. We used to play Bunco in a group once a month and when it was my turn to host she showed up crying, brought her daughter’s IEP–for those of you who don’t know what that is, it’s an Individualized Education program for special education, not something people usually bring to Bunco. Most people bring wine or a dessert. Anyway, her conversation went from cry about her daughter, which I listened to for an hour, to discussing douching, to discussing her husband’s anatomy and what she was going to do to him when she got home. Now I’m not sure about your get-togethers in your neighborhood, but the rest of us stood there stunned.

No one knew what to say so the subject was quickly changed and she just didn’t get the hint making sexual innuendos for the rest of the evening. So that was strike one for crazy lady. Strike two was that her child, a daughter with special needs and my son did not hit it off. We tried to deal with it nicely and keep them away from each other in the classroom, but her daughter told the class that she and my son were dating. I’ve mentioned several times that my son has a tough time fitting in to begin with. Add to that that now he’s”dating” a girl in fourth grade that he doesn’t even like and he’ starts really getting made fun of. So he unkindly, told her to shut up and get away from him. ould he have handled it better? Yep! Should he have handled it kinder? Yep! Did he get in trouble? Yep!

BUT..the mom went on to tell everyone who would listen that her daughter was now afraid of my son because he HIT her. Funny because there were three teachers in the room and 20 students, all of whom were interviewed and NONE of them saw him hit her. My son says dumb things to fit in. I’ll be the first to tell you that, but he’s not a violent kid. He’s never hit anyone at school…aside from picking on his sisters. The principal told me that because the mom made the complaint she had to call me, but that all evidence showed that nothing happened and that the girl kept changing her story. She said my son looked genuinely upset when he was asked if he hit her and said he’d never hit her. He copped right away to saying he told her to shut up and get away from him, but that’s it. I don’t have rose colored glasses. My son did not like this girl and I really tried to get him to calm down about it. She has autism and didn’t understand his personal space and for a child like my son who has his own battles with social issues, it was a bad fit.

Anyway, I haven’t seen her since, but other moms have told me she hasn’t let it go. It’s been two years…can I get a Let It Go? So that irked me, not enough to make me cry, though.

It’s silly to think something like Robin Williams’ death would leave such a cloud over me, but I really think it has. He was such a part of my growing up. It’s a huge memory of mine watching Mork & Mindy with my Mom and Step Father and brother. All of us together as a family. We brought him into our homes and he made us laugh every week. I love the things I’ve learned about him behind the scenes that he took the time to get to know the interns and crews on the sets, etc. He seemed like a good man inside and out. Reading what his daughter said just endeared me to him more. I’m sad that he might have done this because of Parkinson’s and all the gossip that goes along with it. I’m sick of hearing that he’s a coward. I don’t believing in judging what you don’t know.

I think that is the thought that should carry over into daily life. Don’t judge what you don’t know. One of the best actors in my daughter’s play was playing a very eccentric role on the man behind the door at Oz. He was fantastic and hilarious. But as soon as my mother-in-law and sister-in-law saw him they didn’t smile once and enjoy his role. Why? Because they thought he was gay? Was he eccentric on stage? Yes. Was he backstage? Not at all. He was one of the nicest cast members I met. Guess what though, it didn’t and wouldn’t matter to me if he was gay or not. That kid had talent. Isn’t that what a show is about.

I’m all over the place tonight…still not able to cry. I kind of want to. I miss my mom and it’s not a good time for that. I feel like I need to plan that around anniversaries of her death and her birthday, but I miss her today. I was watching my daughter’s voice lesson and thinking, she’d be thrilled. Who knows. Maybe I’ll schedule some time to cry tomorrow and it will come out. So far nothing has happened but I’m feeling blue.

 

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Lisa
    Aug 15, 2014 @ 05:32:31

    I’ve been feeling kind of the same way! I know Robin Williams is part of it, as well as knowing my son is about to begin his senior year and if all goes “well” for him, he will be enlisting in the army in a few months, and my almost 92 yr old grandmother fell & broke her pelvis and is in poor health. On top of a flare since last month’s vacation that won’t quit…can we just have a one day pity party maybe, and find something to trigger the tears? I’ll bring the tissues! ((HUGS))

    Reply

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