It’s My Baby’s Birthday

kyle

Today is my son’s birthday. He waited up until midnight so he could celebrate, and then said, “I can’t believe I’ve been alive for eleven years. That went by so quick!” He’s not kidding! It seems like yesterday when my water broke and I was concerned about taking a shower and shaving my legs before going to the hospital. Heck, I had no contractions, so there wasn’t a real issue.

When my contractions started, about a mile from the hospital, they were intense and two minutes apart. That certainly wasn’t how the woman at the birthing class explained it would be. I heard things about laboring for hours and contractions being 15 minutes apart for a day. When I got to the hospital, I was 8.5 cm dilated. I got my epidural and had my baby two hours later. I waited years to have baby and there he was.

I look back on all the things I’d do different. I was a new mom who had never changed a diaper. I’d have held him more, snuggled more. Those moments just go by so quick. I remember rocking him one evening when I was pregnant with my daughter. It was late and he really didn’t want to go to sleep. I started singing a lullabye and for whatever reason he thought one verse was the most hysterical thing ever. He had the best belly laugh. So of course I kept singing it, and we’d laugh together until I was crying I was laughing so hard.

My son isn’t an easy kid. There is no manual that came with him. He’s got terrible anxiety, puts way too much stress on himself, is insecure, and has issues with reading and learning. Things are a bit of a struggle at times. Then again, I can turn it around and tell you that my son opens up and tells me anything and everything he’s feeling. We are emotionally very close. We have the same warped sense of humor, and when he needs someone to pick him up when someone has kicked him down, he knows I’m his biggest fan. I also get him to see the best in himself (okay, that’s a work in progress), but it is happening. My wish for him is that he’d see what I see when I see him. He’s handsome, smart, funny, and friendly. He’s thoughtful and kind.

Other than the birthday…which translates to me having to rush around and clean the house with no nap, I have to figure out how to decorate and get everything done. I’m not cooking, but I still feel like I need appetizers, plates, beer, soda, etc. Oh my mother in law is bringing the cake because the needs to show the world that her cake is the best.

I had my appointment with the ENT today. He numbed my nose, stuck a think scope up my nose and down in my throat to look around. I was asked to breath, and to make humming noises so he could watch the vocal chords do their thing. He said everything looked ok, which is good news. I asked if he was able to see my thyroid and he said no, but that if there were anything like thyroid cancer, the vocal chords would be affected. So his only advice was to try not to talk as much. Um…is he for real?

I’m Italian! I yell all the time. I will be quieter when the kids go back to school, but I don’t think I’m that loud. I’ll give it a try resting my voice. I mean it’s not like I’m talking during all the extra sleep I’m getting.

I’m debating on calling for my bloodwork tomorrow. I don’t usually do it. I usually think if it’s bad they call, and if not that don’t. But this time I want to know. I want to know my numbers and next steps. I want to know if I should have a endocrinologist look at my labs to see if there is anything else that should be tested. I will worry about it all tomorrow and I will remember to ask for the numbers and then look up everything they mean. I can’t ask questions without the information.

As I’ve learned throughout this, you aren’t going to learn f you don’t ask questions. There are so many people willing to help! Just ask!

But for now the Ambien is kicking in and I’m off to bed.

 

 

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