So Sick Today

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As I mentioned in my last blog, I was starting Metformin this week. I thought I was doing okay with it. I certainly didn’t have the “bathroom issues” that were commonly mentioned. I just felt a bit nauseous, but nothing I couldn’t handle. Until Friday. I had dinner, and my foot was again in hideous pain so I broke down and took a pain pill. Well the combination of the two sent me over the edge and I began throwing up violently around 1:00AM.

It was awful and I ended up not being able to sleep until close to 4:00AM. I was hesitant to eat anything this morning, but I ate a rice cake with peanut butter. I figured that was bland enough and I held it down okay. We went to my daughter’s singing lesson and then to Nutcracker practice and somewhere during the ride I lost vision in my left eye and I was in a full-blown migraine feeling like I was going to throw up.

I decided to go through the drive through and get a soda to try and calm my stomach. It was so bad that I asked the lady for a plastic bag just in case I couldn’t make it home. I ended up getting home safely and put ice on the back of my neck for an hour before having to go back.

Again, I had an hour or so of feeling okay, and then it was back and I was trying to get back home before tossing my cookies. I feel like I have very low blood sugar; that disoriented, cold sweat, nausea, etc. I slept for two hours and felt a lot better but needless to say, I’m not taking that medicine tonight. I’m going to take another day off tomorrow and try and start it at half the dose on Monday.

When I asked on the PCOS board, many people said they felt like that for a month or two. A MONTH OR TWO? There’s no way in hell I could be like this for a month or two. My son has his football conference championship tomorrow, and I need to be there. I can’t be puking at home.

I was forced to eat a slice of pizza by my family and surprisingly, I think that helped with the queasiness from the low blood sugar. I’m just hitting a wall. I want to lose weight and feel better, but I don’t know if this is the way to do it. I don’t want to be nauseous and puking all the time. Metformin may very well help with my PCOS, but given the fact that I have decided to go back on the plauqenil this week, after I see my rheumatologist, I don’t want to be on both. I’ll tell him everything and see what he says.

My foot has been in that terrible pain either once a twice a day since Halloween. Someone online scared me by saying they felt that kind of pain when their hand deformity started. It felt like the hand was clamped in a position, and that’s exactly what my toes feel like.

Last night really scared me. I’m not ashamed to say I was on the couch crying for my mom. Sometimes you just need your mom when you’re that sick. My mom can’t be here because she passed away at 43, so then I became irrational and started thinking I was beginning to get deformed feet, I was so sick and there was no end in sight, and I need someone to make sure my children are raised the way I want them to be if something happens to me.

Everything was hitting me at once, and add the puking to the mix and I honestly felt scared that something bad was happening. I spent today trying to imagine what my month would be like if I continue with the current meds. I don’t know what to do. I suppose I should call the endocrinologist and ask questions. At the moment, my focus is on being at my son’s football game tomorrow morning. That’s the only focus for now. My sister-in-law is taking the girls to dance for me.

I know my mother-in-law has big plans to go shopping for a new kitchen table for us, which is just so nice, but I don’t want to see her spend the money that she wants to spend. I have two ways to look at it. Her son doesn’t make a lot of money in their family business and we are living paycheck to paycheck. I keep hearing how it’s going to get better…for years. I know we can’t afford to replace the table now and I also know how much she has bought for her daughters. I shouldn’t feel guilty that she wants to do something nice. Her heart is in the right place, and at least this time she’s letting me choose the set (a nice step from when she showed up with all white furniture for a home with three kids, three cats, and a big black dog).

We just found one for half the price at Raymour & Flanigan that I liked just as much. She’s concerned that the one she found at Basset was heavier and will last forever. I’m not even sure I’m going to be up for this tomorrow. Like I said, first things first, I need to make it to my son’s big game.

I’m saying my prayers now that he has a great game. His confidence is increasing now that he’s further understanding the game, but I’d love to hear the announcer call his name for a tackle. His last tackle, they just announced the kid who got tackled and I know he was so disappointed (usually they say both names). If I had one wish, other than a team win, it would be for him to have some sort of special moment. Even a small one would mean the world to him.

I’m off to try and sleep. Wish me luck!

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