The Appointment No One Wants

Unknown

If you’ve read my blog you might remember that I had genetic testing to see if I carried the gene for breast and ovarian cancer. Luckily I am not a carrier, which was a huge relief. I have long been afraid I’d die young like my mother did from ovarian cancer and I’d leave my kids without a mom.

Fast forward to last week when my breast hurt. I felt a little something but I also have my period so I figured it was likely cysts that come and go with cycles. I called and scheduled the appointment for a mammogram because I was 3 months overdue and my doctor also wanted to see me.

At the exam, she said it did not feel like anything scary, but more glandular. So I felt pretty okay about the whole thing…until this morning. I had my mammogram and ultrasound and they had me sit to have the radiologist look at it to see if they needed more pictures. They then took me back in for another mammogram and another ultrasound. Anyone who has had this kind of testing knows that isn’t good.

The radiologist did my ultrasound herself and said I had a few normal looking cysts but that there was an area of tissue on the mammogram that looked a little different from the rest of the tissue. She said they wanted me to have a biopsy but that they couldn’t do it at the office because the area was so tiny, they need to do it with a mammogram to get the right spot.

They asked me to wait outside the office for the scheduling secretary and I was still okay, until she came out and said my doctor always likes to see the report and choose where her patients go for further testing, but she wanted me to know that even if it was “something” it was so small and they caught it very early.

It wasn’t until that moment when she said “something” and “caught it early” that it hit me that omg she thought it could be cancer. I couldn’t stop a bit of waterworks, but it wasn’t too messy.

I now have a biopsy scheduled for Friday and then a few days of waiting before I know anything more. If nothing else, this blog tonight is to remind you to get a mammogram. I would not have gone today if I hadn’t had some pain and felt a tiny lump (the cyst).

I hate being in limbo with anything. I feel like I can handle things if I have a plan and right now there is no plan because I don’t know if it’s cancer or some weird tissue that looked different. Obviously, we’re hoping for the latter.

I won’t tell my kids until I have that answer, mostly because my son is turning 14 this year and is very scared that I’m going to die because my mom died when I was 14. The last thing I need is his mind wandering.

I’d appreciate it if you can keep me in your prayers and hopefully I won’t need to blog out a cancer journey, but if necessary, I’ll do what I need to do. Tomorrow’s blog will be much more uplifting. I will not be discussing any of our other summer hellish experiences for at least another day or two. My dog is in a cast. My daughter had staples in her head. But…we’re still kicking…well, except the dog. He’s not kicking anything while he’s in the cast.

 

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: