Stressed about Football…Yep, I’m Serious

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I have way more important things to be worried about, but tonight I’m thinking about football. My son’s football game tomorrow, to be exact. This sports stuff is hell on me. I just want him to do well, and he does really well in the practices, but he gets nervous during the games. He’s playing against kids that are a lot bigger than him. The league allows kids that weigh 70lbs-105lbs, and my son is 76lbs. He’s not a big kid, so when he’s matched up with a bigger kid, he allows himself to get psyched out.

As a mom, I just want that one play. That one play where he knocks another player down, preferably the player carrying the ball, but I’m not fussy. He needs confidence, and I can’t give that to him. He needs to find it within himself. This parent stuff is tough!

My girls are also practicing for their Nutcracker audition next Friday evening. As crazy as this time of year gets with football games and Nutcracker rehearsals, I love it. My older daughter has been working one-on-one with a dance teacher to prepare for the audition. There aren’t a lot of prime roles for a nine-year-old, but she doesn’t dance with the lead studio in town (because I wouldn’t place her with someone who screams at her) and because of that she comes into the audition at a disadvantage.

The dance teacher is the daughter of a friend of mine, and she is just helping her with what to do during her 30 second spot where she can doing anything she want in front of the director. The audition is a bit intense. My younger daughter cried the first year, and left the stage because it was scary. There were like 80 girls on the stage being taught a combination and it was too much for her at age 5. She went back next year and she got the role of a mini mouse. She’s gung-ho to go back again this year, but her level of dance is that of a 7-year-old. She’s happy being a scurry mouse or an angel, and she’ll be fantastic at whatever she gets.

My older daughter really wants a part where she can do some ballet. Last year she got the role of a soldier and she cried because that was a “boy part.” I understood her sadness, but made her follow through with accepting whatever role she was offered. She was super shy about it, but she did ask the director for a second role, and she got to be an angel. Anyway, I’m babbling about Nutcracker, but it’s become a huge event for us the past few years.

It’s starting to get colder here in Connecticut, and my hip and leg have definitely started aching. My heating pad is out and being put to good use already. It’s funny, I’ve really spent the last few months dealing with exhaustion as my main symptom, with the occasional migraine. I forgot how the colder affected me. It’s not even that cold, but we had a damp rain today, and I was limping and I had pain shooting down my leg and into my foot.

I also had the neuoropathy symptoms again for the past few days in my hands and feet. At the moment, my right hand not only 6029721854_e19543daff_ohas the sharp pins and needles, it also feels burning hot.

With all the research I’ve been doing into Hashimoto’s prior to my appointment with the endocrinologist in October, I’ve been finding that most people with autoimmune diseases have more than one. I’ve love to hear if that’s true for you> It’s definitely true for me with rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia, Raynaud’s disease, and possibly Hashimoto’s. I also talked to a girl who mentioned that the only real way to disagnose Hashimoto’s is through a biopsy of the thyroid. I would love any insight on this.

My rheumatologist did a blood test, but it wasn’t even all the blood tests that I saw recomended on the Hashi sites. Any feedback would be great!

Another Flare?

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I’m staying off WebMd today. I woke up with a fever. I don’t feel too bad, though. I have a scratchy throat, but it’s not really too sore and I have that “I’m coming down with the flu” type feeling that accompanies a flare. I had a 101 fever this morning and I took some Advil to get through. Other than that it wasn’t a bad day, though I’ve been slight obsessing on all my research with the thyroid stuff.

I need to make some calls tomorrow to see if either I can make an appointment with the endocrinologist or if I still have a fever, maybe make an appointment at my primary care doctor’s office even though she’s away. I may get into the endocrinologist’s office faster if they call in the referral directly from the office. Other than that I have my rheumatology appointment on Tuesday and I’m making my list of things to go through with my doctor.

For the majority of the day I felt pretty well once I took the Advil, but this later in the day things went downhill. My SI joint is killing my (the little bones above your butt). The right side is completely locked up and I have pain all through my right hip. I also have a lot of pain in my hands and feet. I guess if I had to feel lousy, right before I go to the doctor is the best time to have that happen. There’s nothing worse than feeling wonderful when I go to see the rheumatologist after weeks of feels horrid.

I am trying to look on the bright side of feeling like crap. Is there a bright side? I’m not even sure but I’m working on finding one.

I have less than a week until my son’s birthday. Did I mention that my mother-in-law is having “her” cake person make the cake because my son likes her cake person better? Um…really? It’s cake. We usually get a cool cake for the kids and she has someone that makes them. Someone I went to high school with started her own cake business here in town and I like to give her the business and she does a fantastic job. At my daughter’s birthday she leaned over to my son (this was in March) and said, “I know you like my cakes better so decide what your theme is and I’ll get you a cake.”

First of all, I was going to get his cake at the grocery store because none of us really like fondant. Both her lady and my friend make beautiful cakes, but the crazier the styles, the more they have to use fondant. The last cake my friend made with the cats on it, I asked her to only make the cats out of fondant and that was good because no one ate the cats (I don’t even eat Easter bunnies, let alone fondant cats).

I am keeping things low key this year and we invited the family over for pizza and cake Friday night. I need to get my house in order for Friday. A few weeks ago I seemed to have more patience for them. It’s wearing thin, though. Maybe that’s true for everyone. I’ve been fairly cranky. I’m just wondering if there will come a time in my life that I won’t feel like the odd one out when it comes to my in-laws and even in most social situations. I often feel like I am on the outside, but that’s definitely true with my in-laws. I often wonder what type of person they would like because it’s certainly not me.

Anyway, I’m off to try and get some sleep so I have the energy to start cleaning the kids rooms tomorrow.

 

Been Diagnosing Myself Again

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Usually I’m the first to admit that I spend way too much time on the Internet researching my illness, but in many cases I’ve been 100% correct. Case in point, my infertility years. I read every possible thing I could get my hands on about miscarriage and ovulation and medications to make you ovulate. I diagnosed myself with PCOS despite not being glucose intolerant and went into the reproductive endocrinologist to explain my diagnosis. He agreed with me. Why? Because I know what the hell I’m talking about!

So I starting writing a blog the other night after seeing my ALS Ice Bucket challenge video. I was very upset seeing myself on video. Do I look horrid? Well, no, but I don’t look like me! My face is so puffy and I’m way overweight. All I could think about was that everyone must be thinking–wow, she didn’t age well since high school. Should I care? No! Did I? Kind of! I don’t Photoshop my pictures to impress anyone. I’m a fairly simple girl. I just want my regular clothes to fit. That’s all!

So I started writing the blog and it got me thinking about my appointment this coming Tuesday with my rheumatologist and how I need to prepare. Overall, my pain level has been significantly better in the warmer weather. I’m going to discount the week in Disney when I completely overdid it and sent myself into a terrible flare (I will come back to that in a minute, though). My main concern is the exhaustion. Lately, I will go teach my Pilates class in the morning, and I can hardly keep my eyes open on the way home. I get home and sleep for 1-2 hours, and it’s not a light nap. It’s a deep sleep, so deep, in fact, that I don’t hear the phone.

It’s pretty much the same scenario if I run to the store. I need to rest afterward. This just isn’t normal and it is getting worse instead of better. Now I’m not naive enough to think my pain level is going to stay this way when it gets colder, and I want a plan in place to deal with the winter. I can’t do another winter med-free, or periodically using pain meds. It was awful. I also don’t want to use Lyrica or Cymbalta because of their side effects of weight gain.

Given that weight gain is a big concern for me, when they both have a side effect of severe weight gain, that’s not a road I want to go down. Now gabapentin had less side effects, but I got off course while looking that up and started reading more about thyroid issues and Hashimoto’s Disease. Now my thyroid levels were in the normal range, but I happen to exhibit every other symptom of hypothyroidism. Chronic hoarse throat/laryngitis, severe exhaustion, weight gain, hair loss, sensitivity to cold, joint and muscle pain, puffy face, muscle weakness…HELLO…This is me! Going back to my Disney trip when I ran my body ragged, as I started to feel the pain, I lost my voice…completely. I couldn’t do anything more than whisper for our last two days, and then I came home and slept for 3 days straight before getting and antibiotic that was called in for a sore throat/sinus infection.

Now I need to convince my doctor that there are different ranges of normal for TSH, T3, and T4. Hashimoto’s is actually an autoimmune disease that affects the thyroid causing hypothyroidism. So then I thought, what if I don’t even have RA because I’m non-serum RA and what if my correct diagnosis is Hashimoto’s and fibromyalgia? No one is arguing an autoimmune disease. My ANA level is high. I’m sure my rheumy with do more blood work after our chat this Tuesday. I don’t actually think there will be much he can do for me, so in the art of working around him, I’m calling Monday to make an appointment with an endocrinologist.

I was feeling positive with this new direction and I figured, let me check with my aunt to see if she knows of any family history. I seemed to remember something about my grandmother taking thyroid medicine. Well, she just got back to me and as it turns out both my grandmother and my uncle (my mom’s brother) had/have hypothyroidism and my grandmother had all of the same symptoms I do. I don’t know why this made me cry. I read it after I pulled into my driveway and turned the car off and I sat there for a moment and cried.

Maybe it’s that connection. Maybe it’s that I could be on the right path to figuring out this awful autoimmune puzzle. I think I have my work cut out for me to get a doctor to treat me, even if I’m borderline, but I’m sure going to try! I will have to see how my bloodwork from this week comes out. Any recommendations on thyroid bloodwork? I’m not really on meds that would affect it. Should I go first thing in the morning? Also anyone with Hashimoto’s, please feel free to leave a comment letting me know some of your symptoms and if you were misdiagnosed in the beginning. There’s always the possibility that I have RA, Fibro, and Hashimoto’s…let’s not go there yet.

I’m focusing on the positive of having something to discuss with my rheumatologist and perhaps a new endocrinologist. I’m not stopping until I get some answers.