Being the Bigger Person Sucks

American Football 2

Be the bigger person, blah blah blah. You know it’s what you’re supposed to do, and most of the time it’s the road I choose to take, but no one ever said it was easy…or fun. Today I was a room parent at my daughters’ Nutcracker rehearsals. Honestly, I love doing it. Getting to see them dance and perform is awesome, and it’s just a fabulous production. I love to see the behind the scenes of how they choreograph the numbers.

So that all went well. The problem arose when my former friend’s (the ass who hates that I blog) daughter was freaking out about not having a parent to pick her up. I let her use my phone to call her dad, and I guess there was some kind of mix up with the what he was saying and what the mom said.

He called me back a few minutes later to say that her mother should have arranged that. I had to explain that she wasn’t allowed to stay for an hour and a half between her two rehearsals because we’re still practicing at a studio and not on the big stage. He grew silent like it was a big deal to get her, so I (the bigger person) offered to drop her off at home. Why did I do this? I have no idea, mostly because I’m an idiot.

The kid is very fresh. I cut her slack because she’s had a tough time in her short life. She was snapping at me on the way because clearly, I got the info wrong. Not sure how I even factored into the situation, but I just said that she and her dad would work it all out when she got home.

Later, I received a text thanking me for the help. Then another text blaming the mom. I just texted back “no problem” and left it at that. I am not opening that door again. His level of drama gives me more stress than I can handle.

Then there’s my feet. Both feet are still swollen from last night’s trek around the neighborhood with the kids. My body is getting even with me for my crazy cat lady costume and wearing slippers. The toe pain from last night finally subsided, but I feel like it’s going to cramp up at any moment. I’m sitting here with a heating pad on it. I’m not even sure what the issue is. It feels like my pinky toe wants to lean left, and every time I move it slightly to the right, I feel like it’s going to get stuck again and cramp up.

It sounds ridiculous, but I’m in a lot of pain. Both my hands and feet are swollen, and on tomorrow’s agenda, in between shuffling the girls to rehearsals, I have my son’s playoff football game. It’s all in the same town, so it’s not a lot of driving, but Connecticut has been really cold the last few days. Today was just awful.

I’m trying to keep going until I see the endocrinologist on Tuesday, but if he says there isn’t anything wrong with me and he has no idea what’s going, then I’m making an appointment with the rheumatologist to start Plaquenil again. I’m hesitant to do it before meeting with the endo because I hate to start medications at the same time. I don’t have much hope for Tuesday, or at least I’m trying not to get my hopes up, but I’d really like to try the metformin and see if that has an impact on my weight and other issues related to PCOS.

Wish me luck on getting through tomorrow! I’m going to buy those disposable hand and feet warmers and hope they help. I’m going to need all the help I can get.

Don’t forget to turn your clocks back! An extra hour of sleep is always awesome. It’s waking up in the dark and having it be dark at 5pm that sucks.





Severe Exhaustion Strikes Again


To say I’m exhausted is an understatement. I’m not sure whether it’s the letdown from the migraine, which thank goodness is gone today, or the autoimmune crap just catching up to me, but I am in that brain fog/severe exhaustive state today.

We got us early and got ready for the being Munchkin audition. I didn’t know what to expect. There were about 40 people ther when we arrived, and more came throughout the time we were there. The only real audition we’ve ever been to is for The Nutcracker ballet and everyone needs to arrive at one time. This was an open audition from 10-1pm. Of course, being neurotic, we got there just before 10Am to fill out the paperwork.

By about 10:15 they called about 10 girls in to sing one at a time (no parents allowed) and then after about 20-30 girls sang, they were taught a short dance routine, which they had to perform. My daughter came out looking happy and thought she did well, so that’s the best I could hope for. When I asked, we were told some kids would be called for a second audition next weekend, other kids would be immediately placed and not called for two weeks, and others who did not make it would not be notified until the two week mark. My best guess is we’ll hear something in two weeks.

I came home from the audition and could hardly even stand, so I took a nap. My youngest daughter kept coming in the room to ask questions like when we could go to Target, and she interrupted really deep sleep a few different times. I put her off and tried to get her to go play on the Kindle or watch television, because I was truly useless.

My whole body ached, not really hurt, but just ached and I could have fallen asleep standing up at a few points today. When I woke up we did end up running to Target for a few groceries and then because it was one of the nicest days we’ve had so far this spring, the girls and I took a nice walk. I was a struggling with this decision, but I haven’t really done much to exercise other than my class this week. It felt good to walk, but I’m so tired right now I din’t think I’ll need any help falling asleep.

It’s been a while since I’ve had this kind of fibromyalgia brain fog. All I could focus on today was my need to sit or sleep. This really sucks! My hip is also still causing me some pain but being so exhausted is the only thing I can focus on at the moment.

Good night everyone!