Toes Aren’t Supposed to Cause More Pain than Labor

I had a brilliant idea. I was going to dress up as a crazy cat lady tonight. I pinned stuffed cats all over a bathrobe, threw my hair in rollers, put on my slippers and off I went…well after I spent about 30 minutes doing “Elsa” makeup and zombie makeup.

The evening started out really well. We went to a neighborhood get-together and then went trick or treating. The houses in our neighborhood are fairly far apart and some have driveways that have large hills. I didn’t realize it until we got home that my feet were completely swollen. Perhaps slippers weren’t my brightest idea. The did have sole, though, so I thought I’d be fine.

The I tried to get into bed and it started. You know that feeling you have right before you calf is going to knot. Like the kind of knots that wake you from a sound sleep? It felt very much like that but for my little toe and the one next to it. I dropped to the floor and grabbed my foot. The only way I could stop the pain was to hold the toes and pressing them in toward the foot. If I moved them away, it cramped them up again.

Twenty five minutes of hell. My sweet son got out of bed to get me ice and take care of me. I ended up deciding that heat would feel better. I didn’t want to scare him, but dammit, I was scared. It’s not often that labor breathing comes into play for toe pain, but It was awful. I suppose it wasn’t a great idea in the cold with slippers, but I don’t think I’ve ever felt anything like this. Anyone else?

I took a full Ambien tonight just to try and get to sleep. My hands are also ice cold. Did I mention I hate cold weather??

Happy Halloween…oh by the way, my kids had a blast and that’s what really mattered. My “Elsa” went door to door announcing that she was going to build a snowman for people and singing Let It Go. My older daughter and her BFF walked around together and had so much fun. The BFF’s younger sister had me cracking up. She’s two and I think she might be a handful at times, but she is so darn cute. I loved listening to her talk. She was so adorable.

See..there were some high points of the evening.

 

Happy Children Equal Happy Mom

Today is the day. The day I spent waiting for the phone to ring with our Nutcracker results. The call came in at 10:50 and like any neurotic mom, I answered on the first ring, trying to sound casual. The results were in! My older daughter is a Lead Angel (a newly created role) and a Ginger Clown, and my younger daughter is a Scurry Mouse and an Angel. My younger daughter got exactly what she was hoping for. My older daughter didn’t get the roles she was hoping for, but I had a feeling she was going to be excited because I knew the main thing was she wanted to be in something other than the Battle scene this year.

She was a soldier and an angel last year, so she was so excited to be named a lead angel, even though we have know idea what a lead angel does, and the ginger clowns get to run and be silly, and I have a feeling she got that because she did a really great cartwheel as her audition trick and a lot of the ginger clowns do cartwheels. So, thankfully, there was a lot of happiness and joy in my house this afternoon!

My niece is also a Scurry Mouse and an Angel, which is, well…I guess good. The girls are happy. I just think of the Nutcracker as my thing to do with my girls. I’m bitchy that way. The in-laws always hated the Nutcracker until my niece did it. My mother-in-law fell asleep during my older daughter’s first performance. I had to tell my husband to wake her up before my daughter went on stage.

I wish I can say I kept to my workout regimen and did some cardio today, but I did teach a really tough class with a lot of lunges. I just didn’t have the energy to do cardio today. I’ll get back on it tomorrow with a long walk, and possibly attempt the hills again since my shins seemed better today. I did a lot of shin warmups and stretches.

Tonight is significantly colder than it has been the past few nights. I bought myself a new heated throw blanket, but I haven’t put it on the bed yet. I have my heating pad in my low back, and I used it on my hands this morning. I’m managing. I just feel like I can’t stand saying that. I’m managing. Is that the way you get through the day, too? I mean, it’s not that I never have a good day. I have good days, but I don’t remember the last time I had a completely pain-free day. It comes down to whether the pain is manageable or not.

I can see where people with autoimmune diseases like rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia, lupus, etc. suffer from depression. It’s not easy feeling like crap day-in and day-out. I mean, I have days where I’m thinking, wow–I’m good enough to go for a long walk, but that doesn’t mean my hands aren’t hurting or my hip isn’t bothering me. It just means the pain isn’t so severe that I can’t do anything. I think that’s where most people get confused. First of all, it all goes back to the fact that people with autoimmune issues look fine, for the most part (unless I’m using my flamingo cane!). On the average day I may have a small limp, but it’s unlikely anyone would really notice.

I don’t discuss my RA, Raynaud’s or fibro 24/7. I blog here to get my autoimmune thoughts out, but I don’t discuss it all day. The real reason behind that is so few people really understand anyway. I have my Facebook support groups, and people that I know who are dealing with autoimmune issues, but other than that, people sympathize, but they don’t really get it.

I didn’t intend to have an autoimmune rant tonight, but that’s kind of what this has turned into. Sorry about that. Sometimes you just need to let it out. I think I was more let down by my own body yesterday when I wanted to jog and I could hardly walk the track. Tomorrow is a new day. I had a lot of positives today and I’m so thankful for that. Happy kids equal a very happy mom! It meant the world to see my girls so thrilled about their Nutcracker roles. Everything else was secondary.

Shin Splints, Fat, Nutcracker, Football and More

I just couldn’t decide on a title. It’s been a while since I’ve written a blog so I have quite a bit to catch up on, though not that much news in terms of my health. I guess I’ll get that update done first. I’m huge. Enormous, even. That’s just not changing, so I can’t wait until next week when I finally have the appointment with the endocrinologist. I am a little afraid that he’s going to shrug me off because my initial blood work does not show a thyroid issue, but with a strong family history of hypothyroidism and the fact that I have every other symptom on the list, I’m at least hoping he’ll do more testing. I’m not eating enough to be this fat!

In similar news, I’m back trying cardio even though it’s not that easy. Yesterday I walked 3 miles in my neighborhood, and not the flat 3 miles. I walked the huge hill route, which I regretted on the way back to my house, which is all uphill. I was able to do it, and I’m not sure who was huffing and puffing more, my fat dog or me! In an effort to continue the cardio trend, I went to the track today in the hope that I could job a bit, but when I started I realized that I did too much yesterday with the hills and my shins were in terrible pain. I didn’t want to push myself further so I opted to walk the track (in pain) for a mile and a half.

It was a lot less than I wanted to do, but it was still something. Tomorrow I have to teach my class in the morning and then I will attempt to do my flat walk through the neighborhood or if my shins are really hurting, then I’ll do my boring elliptical instead. I’m trying…

Tomorrow is also the big day where we get the call about roles for the Nutcracker. My girls are so excited. I am in a panic at the moment. I know my younger daughter is fine. My older daughter would really be happy with any part that isn’t in the Battle scene, because she’s been both a mouse and a soldier, and she really wants to do a more ballet role. We put down that the role(s) she was hoping for were the party scene or a flower bud (the youngest of the flowers in the flower dance). I know she’d be great at either one, but I don’t know if she showed enough ballet. So here I am praying that tomorrow’s call goes well.

Last year when she got the role of a soldier she was devastated because “that’s a boy role.” She ended up seeing it through and having a good time. She even asked for a second role and got it. The thing is, she’s not this outgoing kid that stands out in an audition. She doesn’t jump to the front and raise her hand when they ask who can do something. She’s very shy, but getting better all the time. If you can spare some positive vibes for me tomorrow, please pray that I get a good phone call. To see her get a role that she really wants would be so awesome.

And now my football update. First of all, it’s not a newsflash that I’ve I’ve learned anything about football. I still don’t know anything. BUT…I did see my son make a tackle! It was in a play right after he did something wrong and I saw his dad shaking his head in frustration. He just doesn’t think my son has the drive to play football. He’s too afraid. Then he went into the next play and took the ball carrier down. Even I knew that was good! I got a picture of it, too. The best part of it was talking with my son later that night and hearing him say that he thought it was his best game ever because he felt like a valuable player. He was so proud of himself.

Oh…back to my rheumatoid arthritis for a moment, I’m still really suffering with stiffness and pain in my knees. I’ve decided to wait until after I see the endocrinologist before I call my rheumatologist to get in for an appointment. I’d like to see if the endo is really going to do anything for me before I discuss going back on the Plaquenil, but that seems to be where I’m headed. I don’t think I’m mentally ready for methatrexate. I think that’s the next step after Plaquenil. I believe I’d try the Plaquenil again before I’d try something different. I stopped it because my issues were really stemming around the fibromyalgia. The deep tissue muscle pain in my shoulders and under my head were bothering me terribly, but my joints (with the exception of my hands) were doing okay.

As the colder weather is starting, my hands are starting with the stiffness and swelling. My feet were pretty darn swollen after yesterday’s walk, too. But, what’s bothering me the most are my knees and hip because those hurt while I’m standing and walking. The pain and joint stiffness are just making things a lot more difficult. So, the decision is, that I’ll make another appointment with the rheumatologist after I speak with the endocrinologist. Do you ever feel like your life is seeing specialists?

Quick recap:

Endocrinologist-October 9th

Nutcracker decisions- tomorrow (I might need several Xanax)

Football-not as horrid as usual

Knees-suck

Have a good night everyone!

Two-Faced People Annoy Me

They are everywhere. Two-faced people. As I mentioned last night, there was a situation at my son’s school and another boy, who happens to have some severe anger issues and needs attacked him during gym. I get that it might be the subject of concern for other parents. This is the fourth time this year (that I know of) that this boy has snapped and attacked another student for no reason. I understand concern for my son, and I understand the concern for safety for other students, but I’m not an idiot.

If you don’t give me the time of day on a regular basis, please don’t email me like we’re best friends when you want information. I’m gong to give you as little information as possible. Something like…My son is doing fine. Thanks so much for your concern. Buh-bye. Okay, I left out the buh-bye, but I was thinking it.

One mom went as far as to ask if I was pressing charges, if I contacted the parents directly, what I said to the school, how the child was being punished…and accused the boy of being the next Adam Lanza (the shooter from Newtown). Now, I’m not thrilled that anyone put there hands on my child. This never should have happened. I’m even surprised at how calm I am about it, but perhaps it’s because I understand that it wasn’t personal. It wasn’t with malicious intent toward my son. There wasn’t a vendetta behind it. It doesn’t excuse the behavior, but it does make it different in my mind.

However, today, my son told me his back was bothering him where he had been kicked. I guess I was so concerned that he got punched in the head, I’m not even sure if I heard the part about being kicked in the back, but he has a good deal of swelling and bruising. So, Mamabear kicked in. I sent an email to the principal and let him know that tomorrow morning I’d be taking my son to the doctor to have the injury looked at because of the swelling. I thought that because there wasn’t any significant bruising yesterday I should notify them in writing. I also, in as nice a way as I could, mentioned that I did have concerns on what was being done to address the violent outbursts that this child was having. Clearly a suspension wasn’t working. I know they can’t tell me what they are doing, but as a mom, I want to hear that steps are being taken to ensure the safety of the other students in the school. I also want my sons injuries documented by our pediatrician in case something else happens. Maybe that sounds terrible, but it’s what I feel I need to do.

Anyway, today was better in terms of my pain level. My allergies have been bugging me, though. Toward the end of the day, my right hip and leg were sore and I had to sit down and end my day a lot sooner than I wanted to. Needless to say, my house is still a disaster. I have to bring my daughter to a two-hour vocal rehearsal tomorrow and then hopefully I can clean for a while. We don’t have major Father’s Day plans. Later in the afternoon we are going to stop by my Dad’s house, but as far as I know we aren’t doing too much around here. Possibly going on the boat for a bit. Did I mention I’m not a boat person? I’m a freakin crab tonight!

I will suck it up because it’s Father’s Day, but only after I vacuum and clean the bedrooms. At the moment I feel like I need to hook up my heating pad or go grab some ice for my back. The end of the day is always so difficult. Sometimes I just wonder if it will get easier. I do have days that I feel pretty good, but it’s rare that by this time of night that I still feel good. I’m trying not to complain, but being in chronic pain gets old. You forget what it’s like to not have the pain. To walk around without the aches and pains or stiffness.

I don’t remember what it’s like to sit for an hour and then get up from a chair and be able to do that quickly. That pretty much debilitates me. I’m just asking my readers and cyberspace friends? Does it get better? Is the medicine making it better for you? I’m off of almost everything at the moment, and I’m wondering if it’s all worth it. Let me know your thoughts.

 

All in the Day of a Mom

Another day of waking up nauseous, but it faded pretty quick this time. I was able to teach a killer class that involved walking lunges, wall sits, abs with weights, dead lifts, and crazy planks with weights. Needless to say, I wasn’t in too much pain this morning, and I was able to do a lot more than usual. It was one of the first mornings in a while that I was able to grasp my hands around 8lb weights without feeling like my hands were going to drop them at any moment.

Needless to say, I had a lot of fun with my this morning, and that set the tone for my day. It was a busy day and I didn’t have a lot of time to relax, so it was lucky that I felt pretty good. I had to pick my son up early for a doctor’s appointment, only to find out that he fell at recess and hurt his arm. Not sure if I’ve mentioned this before but of all of my children, my son is the one I refer to (behind his back) as Sophia Loren. Any injury leads to his Oscar reel performance of pain and suffering, so he gets into the car with his sweatshirt tied around his arm like a sling.

He explained what happened an I did notice a bit of swelling, so I got irritated that I had to hear it from him and not the nurse. I went into Mamabear mode and called the school nurse who said she didn’t notice any swelling, which is why she didn’t call me, but she did give him Advil for the pain. We were on our way to his monthly therapy appointment for his ADD meds and one would have thought his arm might fall off from pain.

He wanted to go to the doctor, but being the wonderful mom that I am, I explained that I had to take an online webinar from 3-4:30 today that I could not get out of. I told him we’d go home and ice it, and if it still bothered him at 4:30 we’d go get an xray. By the time 4:30 rolled around he wanted a cast, but I reminded him that he had baseball tryouts on Saturday and that it was his left arm (he’s a lefty). He got quiet, and thought for a while.

“What if they just give me a sling?”

“Then you can’t tryout for travel baseball, and we should probably cancel your sleepover tomorrow night since you’re in so much pain.”

…silence…

A short while later, shockingly, he felt a lot better! He thinks it was the Advil, I’m thinking it was the threat of losing the sleepover. Now I’m going to feel like the worst mom ever if his arm is broken, but I really think he’s fine.

The only thing I missed out on today was my walk. Although I taught I good class this morning, I didn’t get to any cardio exercise today. I’ll try and do something more tomorrow. What I’m finding difficult is not have a snack at night. I’m eating reasonable, small portions during the day, but if I eat at 5:30-6pm I’m hungry at 8:30-9pm. Tonight I had a rice cake with peanut butter…then I had a small bowl of cereal. Now I’m stuffed.

I could have done without the damn cereal. Tomorrow’s goal is not to have anything but one rice cake with peanut butter after dinner. I am also trying to wait until I’m really hungry to eat. I think I eat because I’m supposed to eat, not because I’m really hungry. I’m working on that too.

Now that it’s the end of the day, I’m pretty sore. My knees are more than pretty sore, which might be the RA and it might be the lunges (or a combination). The rest of me is just very stiff. After I’ve been sitting a while, it’s so difficult to get up and walk. I’m hunched over and holding onto a walk as I go down the hall. Let’s be honest — that just plain sucks!

Don’t forget to join our Facebook Autoimmune Mama Group for anyone suffering from an autoimmune disease. We’re off to a nice start, so please feel free to share the page with anyone you know that has rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia, lupus, MS, MCTD, Raynaud’s Psoriasis, or any other autoimmune disease.

Also, don’t forget to email or send comments on the “best” bad comments you’ve received regarding your autoimmune disease. I’m compiling a list for an article and I know we’ve all heard some doozies at one time or another, whether it be the well-meaning advice, or someone who can relate because they have arthritis in their pinky toe 🙂 I want to hear your story! You can email me at autoimmunemama@gmail.com or comment on this article.

 

Just a Blah Day in Autoimmune World

I just blah today. In terms of pain, today was not so bad. I’m thankful for that, but I feel like I could sleep all day. I’m not sure if it’s because my birthday is this weekend. I love birthdays, but for some reason as I get closer to the age that my mother passed away, I’m having a hard time.

This year I’m turning 42, and my mother died of ovarian cancer at 43. It’s a whole new perspective of how young my mother was, and how hard it must have been to know she was dying and leaving her children.

Now that I have children of my own, and I’m almost reaching that age, it’s just really hitting me hard. I need to focus on how thankful I am for every single minute with my kids, and for all the good days. My goal is to find something to laugh about every day, and I will say for the most part, I have a lot to laugh about — even if it’s at myself.

I’m not sure what we’ll be doing for my birthday, but it’s not much. Money is a little tight, so it might be dinner and cake at home this year. We’ll see. Usually the kids decide what they are doing for me, and that usually means me taking them out to dinner.

On another note, I’ve been cracking up all day at the hideous comments people have posted, emailed, and commented in response to my request for the worst things you could say to someone with an autoimmune disease. Okay, okay…they shouldn’t be funny, and they probably weren’t at the time, but I think it helps to laugh at the stupidity and ignorance that the Dr. Googles of the world spread around.

Heck if we listened to people like this, we’d all be cured by glucosamine chondroitin and Salonpas. When I read some of the stupid things people have said to my readers, all I could do it laugh and feel closer to them, because I get it.

An invisible disease is difficult for people to understand. I felt very alone in this, even though I had a few friends that tried to be there for me (including the one that thought this blog was a terrible and negative idea). People don’t want to hear that you are in pain all the time. They want you to respond that you are “fine” or “doing better” because they have no real time to hear your story.

So we stop sharing, or at least that’s what I did. There was an obvious look of disinterest from people and I just started saying I was fine. To connect with people who understand when you say you’re in pain but can’t even pinpoint what hurts, that’s been priceless to me.

Keep the stories coming. It’s going to be quite a list, and I know you’ll all at least crack a smile because we get it. We know how stupid these comments are.

 

 

Making a List of Dumb Autoimmune Questions

I’m making a list and I need your help. What’s the dumbest thing someone has asked you or told you regarding you autoimmune disease? Please share it with me for my list by emailing it to autoimmunemama@gmail.com or by commenting on this blog post.

I hope to put together a list so we can laugh at the humor of it all. Either well-meaning comments or negative thoughts…I want to hear them all.

Also, don’t forget to join the Autoimmune Mama Facebook Group to connect with others suffering from autoimmune diseases.

 

A Late Night…

I just looked at the clock and realized that it was almost 11:30PM and I hadn’t even thought about a blog for tonight. I’m crazed doing work for a baby food client and if I never see a jar of baby food again it will be fine by me.

Tonight was my daughter’s opening night of the play she’s in. I saw it on her face walking in the school — she was scared and freaking out. I tried not to look at her as she lined up to go on stage because I knew she was about to cry. And then it happened. She finished the song and came running into the room telling me how much fun it was! I almost keeled over.

I’m not going to sit here and say my daughter is the best actress or singer, but she has talent. She has always let her fear stand in her way. So even with the tiniest part in show, it’s a huge deal that she got up there, did her thing, AND had fun. It was a big night. I am going to watch the show tomorrow night.

In terms of pain, I was a lot better than yesterday. Again, I had the tingly, numb fingers for most of the morning. It’s starting to piss me off. I can’t even open a jar of juice without asking me kids for help. I was able to teach my class without dropping the weight (a bonus) and I really felt pretty good until this evening when I started getting a sharp pain down the front of my thigh.

I taught a tough class this morning, so I’m not ruling out self-inflicted muscle pain, but it’s weird that it’s in one leg and not the other. It seemed to get a lot better with naproxen, which brings me to my question of the night: What are you taking (if anything) for an anti-inflammatory?

I have tried the prescription Naproxen and Meloxicam, but I really didn’t notice a huge difference taking it daily so I stopped. I take the over-the-counter naproxen sodium when I’m in pain or I have a lot of inflammation, but I don’t take anything daily. I’m just wondering if anyone out there in autoimmuneville feels like a daily anti-inflammatory has helped them. I’d certainly love to know if you feel better with the one you’re taking.

Before I go back to working on baby food, I thought I’d give a shout out to Renee, who had me using the term Google Degrees all day. She made the comment on last night’s blog regarding the person who suggested that I  might have MS, and it’s so true. People have their Google degrees after reading one article on rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, fibrmyalgia, etc. and they know everything! I feel lucky to have connected with so many people who truly understand what I’m going through dealing with autoimmune issues. It sure saves me from going postal.

An Unwelcome Rheumatoid Flare

I went to sleep with a migraine, and woke up headache-free, but unable to walk today. At the moment we’re having a storm, and I suppose that might have something to do with it, but I was useless for the first half of today.

It’s frustrating because I’m actually crazy busy with work, and I have a big project that’s due on Friday. This didn’t stop me from going back to sleep after the kids left for school and sleeping until 11:30. I’m back to being completely freezing and that’s sure not helping things.

Because of the high pain-level, I didn’t exercise at all today, which bothers me. It’s very hard to establish a routine when you don’t know when you’ll have a rheumatoid arthritis or fibromyalgia flare…or in my case both at the same time.

I don’t really know how to gauge the difference between the pain, but I guess if I’m having a lot of joint pain (like today), I blame the RA. If it’s all over pain and fatigue, fibromyalgia is to blame. That’s my rationale, anyway. My neighbor was nice enough to suggest that I have MS today because I was in so much pain. For me, they have ruled out MS, but don’t you just love how people become instant experts after watching a Dr. Oz episode?

I try not to get mad when people say helpful things like that, but it’s not always easy. If one more person tells me to give up gluten, dairy, and sugar, I might scream. Hello! I know sugar isn’t good for me. If I give up chocolate I’m going to be a major bitch, and no one wants that!

Did you notice that you are hearing about more and more people with autoimmune diseases? I feel like lately, so many people I know are telling me they have fibro, lupus, or RA. I don’t know whether it’s because I’m open about my autoimmune struggles, or if more and more people are getting diagnosed. I think if I wasn’t hit like a ton of bricks I’d likely have waited to go to the doctor.

I’m not someone who goes to the doctor for aches and pains. It definitely would have taken me longer to get a diagnosis. I didn’t have the experience of things coming on slowly. I went from walking to not being able to walk literally overnight. It was drastic and it was scary.

I’m glad to hear that more and more people are talking to their doctors about how they feel. As a mom, exhaustion was just part of my life. Three kids = busy. I know it would be like me to ignore things for a really long time if my symptoms didn’t start in a full flare.

I guess if I really look back, though, there were earlier signs. I blames the pain in my hands on knitting. I blamed hip and back pain on teaching classes. I think it was easy to shrug it off…possibly for years. I’m interested to hear how your symptoms started. Did you notice an immediate change? Did you possibly ignore symptoms for a while before seeking help?

I want to write up a list of warning signs for autoimmune issues, and would love your feedback. I’m going to try and close my eyes now, as I’m going blind looking at nutrition information for like 100 different kinds of baby food — and not only in English, but also in Spanish! Don’t be jealous…this is my life!

The After Party…Swollen Hands and Sore Bones

As I mentioned, we had our first sleepover party at the house last night. I was wide awake until about 4AM. I posting on one of the chronic pain pages on Facebook at like 3:30AM. I’m not even sure why. Maybe it was that I kept thinking one of the girls would get scared. I’m not exactly sure, but I went from completely exhausted to wide awake in my bed.

This morning was rough. I’m not going to lie. It was hell getting out of bed when a few of the girls woke up at 7:30. I must have done something right because my kids are not early risers. I had a kid in my bedroom petting the dog at 7:30AM and it wasn’t one of my kids.

I pretty much crashed after the last girl left. All in all, it was a fun party. I didn’t accomplish too much. It’s going to be a mad dash to get my house ready for my daughter’s family birthday party tomorrow. I made a ziti, and opted to order a tray of chicken just to make my life easier.

My hands have really been terrible. My fingers were like fat little sausages this morning. I’m not even sure whether to say they were painful or numb. I guess I’d go with both. By mid-day, almost every joint in my body hurt. I was walking in Target and had a sharp pain in my ankle that traveled through my whole foot.

I’m trying not to complain, as all I wanted was to be okay for the party, and I made it. I survived! I knew today wouldn’t be my best, and I just didn’t let it get to me. I didn’t stress about my house or the cooking for tomorrow. I just did what I could.

My son finally cleaned his room, though I haven’t checked to see what he shoved behind his bed this time. Actually, I don’t even care, because it looks clean and that’s good enough for me tomorrow. It was so nice out and I was able to open the windows, which also added to my happiness. I’m ready for spring, though I think it’s supposed to get colder again tomorrow.

Pet Peeve of the Day

For those of you that know me personally (and there aren’t many because I haven’t announced my blog to family and friends after the reaction of my good friend when I brought it up), I have issues with typos and grammar. By trade, I’m an editor and a social media consultant. I also work with a nonprofit organization that helps families of children with special needs in my area. All of these things make me happy. I like what I do.

Issues arise, though, when I’m playing around on Facebook and I see all sorts of typos. I can’t help but wanting to fix them. Tonight, in particular, someone on one of the fibromyalgia groups that I am in posted about the loss of her father today. I swear there were like 20 comments saying “I’m sorry for your lost.”

I restrained myself from correctly people I don’t know, and I gave myself a bit of a laugh because I don’t proofread my own blog. I write from stream of conscious as to what’s on my mind. As an editor, if I went back and read it before publishing it, it would be set up with an article structure with headings, etc.

You can tell the posts that I made revisions to. They are the ones that look pretty, and have a nice flow and pace. I’m not working when I’m writing this blog. It just makes me feel good to share some of the daily struggles with people who understand. But PLEASE…remember, it’s “I’m sorry for your loss.”

I almost needed a xanax with all the grammar issues. Tonight’s picture is my cats enjoying the open window today. That relaxes me. Believe it or not, with today’s level of exhaustion, I just took a half of an Ambien. For some reason now that I can relax and sleep, I can’t!

Just ignore any tweets after this point. Blame the Ambien!